One Possible Scenario
Step One: Justice Stephen Beyer retired from the Supreme Court. He was not aware of being put out to pasture and had no immediate plans to step aside. Someone, mysteriously gave him a nudge and made that decision for him. One morning, Stephen was eating pancakes, reading the paper and suddenly discovered that his days on the bench were over. Apparently, a high ranking anonymous source with a hidden agenda leaked the story to the press. The article in the paper stated that he was going to spend more time with his wife Joanna and maybe go on a cruise. And, just like that, he was unemployed and still wearing his bathrobe at noon. Stephen, it’s time for you to go. Pack your box, cut the cake and say your goodbyes. We can’t miss you until you leave and interested applicants are already lining up at the door. So long, farewell, audwiedersehn, goodbye!
Step Two: VP Harris has exceeded her expiration date. Kamala dutifully served her intended purpose and helped elect Joe Biden as the 46th President of the United States. Dragging him across the finish line was a herculean task. She was super helpful and did what she was told, but that was then and this is now. VP Harris spectacularly botched everything that she touched and nobody really liked her anyway. The ride to the top is over and Kamala, facing the abyss, considers “not going gentle into that good night.” The Dems top priority for her exit strategy is: NEVER, EVER, let her write a scathing book delineating all of their hypocrisy and lies. That book could destroy the Democratic Party forever. Kamala will “go gentle into that good night,” because someone offered her a deal that she could not refuse. Joe Biden recently announced that a “woman of color” would be his pick to replace Beyer. Biden was recently observed in the paint section of Home Depot selecting which shade of color he prefers. Biden’s selection criteria actually sounded terribly racist but I’m sure that his candidate will be extremely qualified, honorable and an amazing scholar on the law.
We are very excited to announce our new, extremely talented and very loyal, Supreme Court Justice…wait for it…Kamala Devi Harris. (cue the applause)
Goodnight and thank you Emilio.
You’ve completed your task
What more can we ask of you now?
Please sign the book on the way out the door
And that will be all, if she needs you she’ll call
But I don’t think that’s likely somehow
Step Three: President Joe Biden is informed that Hillary Clinton will be his new VP. Joe is puzzled. He thought that Kamala was his VP. Who could have predicted that sleight of hand? Bill Clinton could not be reached for comment. 70% of the country threw up their breakfast when they saw the Fox News Alert. When contacted, a spokesman for The Onion said, “We got nothing!” In other news, Hell actually froze over and ice skating is apparently really big down there.
Step Four: Peppermint Patty regretfully announces Joe BIden’s immediate retirement. Joe was not aware that the four years were up after his first term but Jen brought him a sheet cake with one burning candle and ice cream. Hillary sang Happy Birthday to Joe and watched him unsuccessfully blow out the candle. Obama blew out the candle for him. Joe asked for a second piece of cake-to go. Two Men and a Truck arrived to load Joe’s boxes which were already packed and dumped by the front door. Joe seemed more agitated and confused than usual. Jill patted Joe’s arm and soothingly said that they were going to take a fun trip on a helicopter to the beach. Joe seemed genuinely happy-he liked the beach. Joe was going home at last.
Step FIve: Please welcome the 47th President of the United States, Hillary Rodham Clinton.
High flying, adored
That’s good to hear but unimportant
My story’s quite unusual
Local girl makes good, weds famous man
I was stuck in the right place at the right time
Filled a gap, I was lucky
But one thing I’ll say for me
Noone else can fill it like I can
President Hillary Clinton’s first order of business: Determine by end of day, how soon Donald Trump could be declared an Enemy of the State and banished from the kingdom forever and a day. Failure is not an option.