Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom filled from sea to shining sea with God loving, Bible reading, gun owning, freedom loving citizens who were extremely loyal to their king. It wasn’t a perfect kingdom but there was peace, happiness and justice throughout the land. King Trump, in turn, loved all of his loyal subjects and dedicated his life to defending the realm. Every day, the king donned his armor, mounted his steed and rode off to fight enemies both foreign and domestic who threatened the kingdom. The king’s courage in the face of relentless, mean, petty and unwarranted attacks was admired by friends and foes alike. Trump the Lionheart, was considered a national treasure and the people rejoiced, except when he tweeted-they really hated those tweets! The king was so popular that he was expected to reign for another four years. Life was good, food was plentiful and fuel for the horses was cheap.
Unfortunately, not everyone loved King Trump. Treacherous members of an evil cabal called The Deep State hated him, conspired against him and plotted his demise. They were jealous of the king’s wealth, loathed his beautiful family and envied his power. Many trusted aides, military generals, politicians and judges betrayed the king and their kingdom for 30 pieces of silver. They slandered the king in the media, stabbed him repeatedly in the back, broke their sacred oaths of office and betrayed his trust. Those malicious villains conspired to install a new king who was senile, cowardly, inept and would do their bidding without question.
Through treachery, bribes and chicanery, numerous politicians and judges subverted justice and aided and abetted the installation of a ‘new’ king. King Trump retreated to Florida and the people in the land were furious. They knew that they had been duped, betrayed and felt utterly helpless. The Deep State cabal feared people loyal to the old king and labeled them Patriots. Patriots were savagely mocked for their fidelity to King Trump. Love in the land grew cold. Members of the Deep State paid homage to their false gods of money, power, wealth and control while the honest, humble people in the land prayed to their God for the return of their beloved king. They watched with profound sadness the metamorphosis of their once beautiful kingdom into an ugly third world cesspool. Criminals were allowed to rape, pillage, loot, burn, horse-jack, and kill with impunity. Miscreants laughed when arrested and were immediately set free by blackmailed liberal judges and corrupt District Attorneys to prey once again on the poor, weak and elderly.
King Biden was incompetent, corrupt and the people passionately despised both him and the queen. Dissention in the kingdom was quashed and freedom was curtailed. Good people retaliated with “Lets Go Brandon,” chants at jousting events to express their complete and utter contempt for the king. King Biden pretended that he was in charge but everyone knew that the emperor had no clothes and he was simply a puppet for diabolical, villainous traitors who usurped his throne. Patriots were imprisoned without cause, held without bail and denied a speedy trial. An evil plague spread across the land like black mold. The rich got richer and the poor struggled to feed their families, stay safe and keep warm. King Biden laughed at their plight, blamed the previous king for all of their misery and promised them a dreadful, dark winter, chock full of despair and death. Peppermint Patty (the king’s royal spokesperson) proclaimed: “HEAR YE, HEAR YE PEASANTS! HIS EXHAULTED MAJESTY KING BIDEN PROCLAIMETH TO ALL THE LAND THAT THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES!”
The flame of hope in the land was not completely extinguished. People prayed to God to deliver them from the evil king and his corrupt minions. Millions of memes, savagely mocking King Biden and his cronies spread like wildfire across the land. Patriots whispered behind closed doors that King Trump in Florida was amassing an army and planned to reclaim his throne. Patriots, illegally imprisoned for supporting King Trump, sang The Star-Spangled Banner loud and proud from their filthy prison cells. It started with a whisper but then their voices could be heard across the fruited plains:
Oh, say, can you see by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say, does that star spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.