Please Help AOC’s Abuela

On September 20, 2017, Hurricane Maria ravaged Puerto Rico and dinged up AOC’s sweet abuela’s home. That storm occurred 1,353 days ago. AOC recently visited the island, surveyed grandma’s leaky roof and immediately blamed…wait for it…Donald Trump. This begs the question; what granddaughter would let her poor, beloved Gam Gam, sit alone in a house with a leaky roof for 1,353 days? Who does that?
 
Look, I understand that AOC is financially strapped. Bills pile up and wolves are lurking at the door. She has to pay a monthly fee for her leased Tesla and her luxury apartment in Washington D.C. with an infinity rooftop pool, an indoor lap pool and an indoor Peloton cycling studio must cost her an arm and a leg. Heck, I don’t even know what an infinity pool looks like. When I was young, I asked my dad if we could get a pool. He said, “Son you want pool? The Larsen’s behind us have a pool. Jump the fence, get wet and come home!”
 
I say, lets cut Alexandria some slack. Her $174,000 paycheck is just above the poverty level, and I’m sure that she shops for her wardrobe at the Good Will Thrift Donation Center to save a few bucks. Don’t be a hater. AOC might have avoided travel because of COVID but hey, didn’t she get her second vaccine shot on January 6, 2021? That was the day she hid in a bathroom in a different building (definitely not near Omaha Beach) and had a “near-death experience” during the D-Day invasion of the Capital. While hiding in her “bunker” she took copious notes on a roll of toilet paper for her memoirs in case she didn’t survive “the longest day.”
 



 
Unfortunately, in May 2021, AOC’s abuela became ill. Who didn’t see that coming? HELLO. Your house leaks for 1,353 days in a hot and humid climate. Nothing good comes from that scenario. Thankfully, AOC wanted to call our attention to the “systemic justices you seem totally fine with…” Let me see if I understand this correctly. A storm hits Gam Gam’s house in 2017 and the roof leaks. 44 months down the road and a ton of mold in the attic later, you roll down the window to your Tesla, while exiting the underground garage from your luxury apartment building and tell reporters that Gam Gam is sick because of Trump. Makes perfect sense.
 
I totally understand that impoverished residents of Puerto Rico needed government assistance, which failed to appear in a timely fashion. However, I also understand that no other resident in Puerto Rico was fortunate to have a granddaughter who is currently a sitting member of the U.S. Congress. Poor Gam Gam sat in her leaky, dark house, listened to the water drip into buckets from Home Depot and told a concerned friend, “Don’t worry. My sweet, kind granddaughter will help me out. She’s like a really big cheese in Washington.”
 
Three days after the storm, AOC did send a care package Gam Gam’s way. It contained three bottles of water, an Enya CD, and a 1,000 piece puzzle of Congresswoman AOC yammering on the house floor. The enclosed note read, “Dear Gam Gam. I know the power is out, but if it comes back, listen to the Enya CD. Those songs will really lift your spirits and the puzzle will keep you busy during the day while you still have light. Would love to send $$$ but I’m really tapped out this month. Maybe Trump will send you some. Don’t hold your breath. Love AOC”