I have had two wives. My first wife spent too much money and we had some financial difficulties, but we were always able to pay our bills. I had to divorce her because she spent too much money, and someone told me over and over that she lied to me about something. I forget what it was.
I never really appreciated her until I got married the second time. My second wife, from the very beginning, began spending more money than I thought possible. She would grab a credit card and then go run it up to the maximum, purchasing things which did not seem to be important to me. I was told by others (mostly her friends), “She really loves you, and just give her a chance to make the marriage work.” They even accused me of not wanting to make our marriage work. So I did not complain.
A week later, she grabs another credit card and went out and ran it up to its limit, and I could not tell you to this day what it was that she bought, but it sure cost a lot of money and now that money is gone. Now I just owe too much money. In just 20 months, this woman put me further in debt than my previous wife did in 8 years of marriage. Her friends still tell me, “Just give her some time; she really loves you and she will make this marriage work. Let her do what she believes she needs to do. It will all be okay in the end.” One of her friends said that I really had a negative attitude, and I needed to think about my own attitude. Another one of her friends said, “You just don’t like brunettes; that’s your problem.” (my first wife was a blonde). I tried to explain my problem with her was, she spent too much money, but her friend still insists it is because my second wife is a brunette. She says I am not giving my new wife a chance because she is a brunette. I have no idea what her point is. She is spending too much money; I could care less about her hair color.
A week later, my wife goes to the bank and takes out the largest loan possible, against the value of our house, and now all that money is gone and I am left with a huge mortgage. I could not tell you today what she spend the money on.
When we went in for counseling, she said that spending all this money was important for our financial stability, but now I have lost my job and I have lost my health insurance. So, to solve that problem, she took the remainder of my credit cards and charged them up to the hilt. She says this will solve our problems, but I don’t see how. Her close friends still say, I should give her a chance, but now she is out looking for more credit. They tell me that I need to cooperate with her and work as a team; one suggested that I try spending a little money myself. I just don’t want her to spend more money that I do not have and I want my wife to stop spending money as well. And again, her friends accuse me of having a bad attitude and saying that I was not really giving her a chance, and that my real problem is, I just don’t like brunettes.
Then, the other day, my wife lectured me on financial discipline, and how we need to get our spending under control. She told me we needed to spend our money responsibly and wisely. Then she took out another huge loan right after lecturing me.
She keeps telling me that all of these things that she is buying (most of which I have never seen till yet), will make our marriage better. I cannot see my way out from under this mountain of debt where we have nothing to show for it.
My first wive was not perfect, but I think I want her back.
A retired math teacher who spends most of his time exegeting the Old Testament and, once a week, puts out an ezeen.
This is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. Maybe wife #2 will go to China for her next loan?
Niiiice! 😀
The doctors point out how abused people keep seeking out the same kind personality.
God help us all.
Yep.
Way to go, brother! I think EVERYBODY knows EXACTLY what you’re talking about. This reminds me of the political parable by the prophet Ezekiel about Oholah and Oholibah. There’s nothing new under the sun. Good job!
GARY i am glad you are keeping your good humor it will help you till the end of the descent into poverty,than she probably will disapear,bye
Very creative, Gary. Yes, you should definitely want the first wife back. 😉
I am afraid I must agree with your wife’s friends, spending and borrowing yourself into prosperity has been the main thrust of the Obama recovery program and it has proven itself to be an overwhelming debacle: without this judicious spending and borrowing the economy would be a disaster (worse than a debacle), it is obvious your wife’s friends have a greater grasp of Obama economics than you do Gary. You should call them and tell them thanks and offer them a credit card for the day.
We have the Third World and our enemies encouraging this president to continue on this same path and to tax us further into economic recession and then distribute the money to poorer countries whose dictators need villas in the South of France. This is the way of the future, to doubt the good intentions of Obama because he seems to be a profligate numb skull is like not giving your wife free rein to destroy your personal economy, for that which does not destroy you makes you stronger.
Gary at this rate you will be built Like Arnold used to be in a matter of months.
Shakespeare said it well in King Lear Act 2 Scene 4
Fortune, that arrant whore,
Ne’er turns the key to the poor.
I think Obama and your wife know this passage well, for Fortune will never bequeath the poor any serious money; therefore, you must spend like you are rich, to avoid being mistaken for a poor man and ignored by Fortune.
Good Luck Gary, you are going to need it.
LOL! Wonderful…that one needs to be spread around.
hi SKOOKUM,hope you have good weather as you must spend most time outdoor theses days ,bye 🙄
SKOOKUM you are larger than life and thoses who knows are your friends forever and thoses who come here once they know to understand your message will come back,it is thoses who are isolated with their fear that need to be reassure and there is so many of thoses,we have to win over to win at the end ,bye 🙄
I for one, love reading Bee’s comments. Profound and cute all at once!
@Bees. We need to start the Skookum fan club! I nominate you for spokes-person!
Way to break things down in such a simple story – Great post, Gary!
PATVANN i started the comment on another post he was and i was change to here without checking it so i redone my comment as it was gone i think the oder post was the funnys pokie,bye 🙄
PATVANN ..spokeperson,me?i don’t have the 🙄 ,bye gift of gab,i only speak to myself now and i answer my own question too
Bees, you are unique, some of your posts leave me scratching my head and others make me laugh hours later while I am driving. I am sure if the Highway Patrol saw me laughing by myself in some of the worst traffic in the world, they would think I was smoking my socks. And some of your posts leave me thinking, Oh my! what a profound concept.
Anyway, when we elect a sound Conservative President, I am going to throw the party, one way or another, I expect you to be there. By then, you will probably speak English better than me! and be quoting the Founding Fathers.
Keep right on rolling Bees, I am proud of you. 😛 😉
@Bee’s
You are perfect for the position, because everyone must read your comments very carefully, thereby understanding your point of view in a better sense. 😉
@ilovebeeswarzone, know what you mean, girl. At least I know I’m definitely listening when I talk to myself….
PATVANN there i go again laughing like a nut it will help my dreams to be funnys,bye 🙄 midnight here
MATA i bet you don’t debate with yoursel like i do,bye 🙄
@Gary
Hey forget the wives and get back with the girlfriend you had for most of the 90s who was far more fiscally responsible than either of the two wives;)
Remember that Bush “Fool me once, shame on you” moment?
Well, the accurate version of that saying strikes me as fitting quite well in this context…I could not tell if this is a true story or not (I really couldn’t) but regardless of that, I am more angry with the husband. Where is he in this story? I imagine him as a big doll tossed in a corner with a blank look on his face. You call that a bloody man? You know that joke about Hillary addressing Obama or someone: Grow some balls or I’ll lend you mine. Jeez.
RUTHLESS you said it better than me bye 🙄
Didn’t the first wife write out a cheque for $787 billion and oversee the household shares tumble by around 50% before she ran out of town – leaving the second wife to try and clean up the mess using the same flawed logic? And both wives are in deep debt to the Chinese shark-loan down the road. Is that what’s called paying the bills? lol. Bring back the unlikely double-act of Billy & Newt.
http://blogs.reuters.com/globalinvesting/2009/01/16/the-end-of-the-bush-stock-market/
No, Gaffa. Wife #1 had $787 bil in the bank, wrote a check for half of that and didn’t touch the balance until wife #2 demanded it be transferred to her banking account before she even said “I do”…..
@Mata
So Wife#1 wrote a big cheque and didn’t get chance in the dying days of her marriage to spend it all? And when asked to transfer why didn’t she say no?
Thank most of you for the kind comments.
Ruthless, I am not really in the market for “balls” although I quite appreciate the offer. 😡
I thought the post was pretty clear, but even my ex-wife (honestly) contacted me on facebook and asked me if she was the first wife….so maybe I am not as good of a writer as I thought I was. 😀
Gary, forget the nitwits and their witless remarks. You fired up emotions and muddied up the water; that reflects a job well done. Especially, when your ex wants to know where she fits in, that’s a compliment my friend. Write some more and ignore the mean ones, the better you write the more snark ye shall receive! Those are just reverse compliments. Job well done!
…and there I hoped I was being funny and end up being called a nitwit.
I assumed guys can take jokes about their genitalia, not only that but have a good laugh. I was wrong, I don’t know guys, at least the kind that get so sensitive as to call those jokes “witless remarks”. Here, come to me, let me comfort you from the traumatic experience I put you through.
Now that I am done with Skookum, let me move on to important things. Gary, thank you for being a good sport. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for you and my sympathy was especially strong at the beginning of the story but as it progressed I have to admit, while I am on your side, I cannot understand what’s going through your mind. When you are in a bad spot, you work towards changing it. You keep allowing some nitwits friends (appropriate word in this context, thanks, Skookum, you were useful for once) to give you some incredibly stupid arguments like “you just don’t like brunets” as an explanation/justification for her rampant wastefulness. It seems you might have a masochistic tendency here picking women with exactly the same problem. If you enjoy being taken advantage of, kudos to you, I hope you can afford such a luxurious life style. If not, and my guess you are smart enough to understand that’s not the way to go, I recommend you move that game into the bedroom or the living room playing monopoly.
This is a gal talking, Gary! Be a man!
So I have been thinking about this for a day or two . . . I read this posting on day one when it was posted . . . but had to think about it . . . why because it came really close to home. So here it goes:
Funny . . . nope . . . know someone like this . . . yep . . . sad . . . nope . . . appropriate . . . nope . . . schadenfreude . . . ok . . . if your a into that kind of stuff . . . but I, personally, am not. I see the extreme saddness in this . . . not on the part of the money loser . . . I think YOU deserve to lose every penny you provide that enables the corruptive saddness that you continue to purpetrate on “spend thrift”.
Why can anyone say this . . . actually pretty simple . . . because there is much, much to this story than is being revealed. Do I think you could possiblly reveal the total extent of the situation via a blog, or even in person . . . no . . . do I think that what you would say, even if you could would be unbiased and revealing . . . probably not.
Why would you chose to make these revelations here . . . well . . . maybe because inside of you . . . you may know that what you are doing is corruptive and distructive . . . but YOU are the enabler.
Biggest of all questions is . . . why was the first wife the same way . . . I would suspect that you had less money . . . that when you were married to #1 you could not afford the extent of spending that #2 is inflicting on you, but that did not stop you from dumping her for the value of a dollar . . . what is stopping you from dumping #2 . . . Oh the stupid advice of her friends . . . oh and obviously they are stupid . . . they keep telling you that she loves you. WTF . . . wake up . . . if she loves YOU no one needs to tell you that. And for you to do this to her . . . clearly you don’t give a rat’s ass about her or anyone that she places value in.
I think . . . Man you got yourself a real problem . . . and step #1 is to realize it is YOU!!! Wake up you stupid MF!
Someone so stupid as to suffer the the pain of living with you certainly makes you deserve what you get.
hi TALLGRASS,i can see you are very angry for a person to who would live in that kind of intolerable situation,and i agree with you totaly ,bye 🙄
RUTHLESS yes that was funny,,you know in a way she might have said to herself ,,,,it may as well be me or the government will,bye 🙄
Hello Bees;
Yes I am a little bit agressive on this topic, mostly due to the saddness and hopelessness that a situation so very similar to this has had on people that I know. The most saddening thing is how destructive has been the power of money. Money gives power and slowly the power becomes absolute and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Certainly chance and talent played their roles in the beginning and the money rolled in like water. What I said above is a hope that strong words would open some minds . . . I have always been the kind of person that belived in doing the right thing. The right thing is seldom the easy way out. The right thing to do could and most likely will be the hardest thing we can ever do. So we can take the easy way out, or we can take the infinitely more difficult right way.
I would hope that Money Banks and Spend Thrift would find the “real problem” which I feel confident is NOT the way the money is being spent.
There was a time when He thought . . . “I have more money than WE can spend in the rest of our lives . . . so they did.” 😯
Humbly I submit . . . the situation is not hopeless . . . control . . . when exercised by the heavy hand of power . . . is a burden to the soul and destroys the spirit . . . control when exercised through respect is a renewal of life.
TALLGRASS i have to tell you ,i respect your jugement an i retain the word need renewal,, and it’s true for every thing we do ,we always end up needing a renewal,bye 🙄
Ruthie,
Let me try this again. I’ve only been married one time. I was talking about Bush and Obama. My “second wife’s friends” saying that my problem with her was not her overspending, but the fact that she is a brunette. Of course that is a ridiculous thing to say. It was meant to parallel those who say, we who oppose Obama’s big spending, big government do so because he is a Black man, and the point I was trying to make is, that is absolutely silly. His race has nothing to do with anything.
Now that I know you are a woman, I am not sure I want the balls you are selling. Of course, maybe you are talking on another level here, but I am afraid to even think what that level might be.
gary
GARY now don’t try to hide behind anyone after TALLGRASS gave you the truth of who is responsible in your house,after this,your wife will be embarassed to spend your money and it will be your fault again,,bye 🙄
Gary, well, now that your extended and intricate metaphor is clear to me, then cool, we are good. I will read it again through that spectrum. Maybe I read it too fast but I would have preferred it to be clearer. However, perhaps we can continue in the same spirit and pretend that I addressed my comments to the people of this country: Don’t Take Any Sheisst From Stupid People! or Stand Up For Yourself!..or something like that…
As far as my offer, I only give it in worst case scenario and it was a pretty bad deal there.
Thanks.
De nada
Tall grass,
Who the heck are you talking to in your first comment (#30)???
Tall grass:
My first wife is George Bush, who spent too much money, but I was always able to find a job and pay my bills.
My second wife is Barack Obama, who continues to spend, and spend and spend, while all of his suppporters keep telling us, “Let him have a chance” or “You don’t like his policies because he is Black.”
If you did not get this, don’t feel too badly; my ex-wife contacted me via facebook and asked me if she was the first wife I was talking about.
Gary;
Just call it venting steam over a personal situation . . . I don’t know why I said all that I did . . . you know how it is sometimes . . . something presses just the wrong button and bingo out comes a bunch of gobbly goop that just don’t make a lot of sense to anyone but the person that wrote it all down. Please pardon my reaction.
I still think my comment froma above might fit:
Humbly I submit . . . the situation is not hopeless . . . control . . . when exercised by the heavy hand of power . . . is a burden to the soul and destroys the spirit . . . control when exercised through respect is a renewal of life.
Sorry about the misunderstanding.
Gary, the entente was masterful, thus making this one of the most comedic posts of all time. 😉
I think it is obvious that many men who have enjoyed a degree of success have had their fortunes turned to misfortune by wives who took advantage of the situation with profligate spending. A sort of “Upper End Welfare”, provided for by the sole provider as he trades his life away for someone else to live as a princess. Unless you have been caught in this trap, a trap for which there is almost never a simple solution, you have no idea how damaging the situation eventually becomes.
I can tell that there were several readers who have been caught in this whirlpool of wealth destruction and I have empathy for their situations. It often leaves a man destitute or nearly so with few chances to ever recover. This is a game that is played out over and over everyday in our country and it is a real and present flaw in our culture.
Telling someone to ‘get a pair’ shows at the very least a minimal understanding of the problem; if a man is working internationally and is rarely home, he often finds bills for which there is no logical reason. Telling someone to quit, and then the next step, demanding that they quit can often end up with a husband receiving a warning from the local gendarmes.
From personal experience, I will confirm, that a woman who is spending like Obama, will have police protection, because that is her G-d given right as your wife. She has the right to ruin you financially and no one but a Muslim has the right to put a stop to her evisceration of your resources. The only way to resolve the situation and stop the bleeding is divorce and then you become a no-good B@stard for ruining her life. You need only write a few more checks like you were buying a ranch and you are free, free at last! And that s why so many became inflamed over Gary’s excellent post; if you haven’t lived through this nightmare, you know someone who has. A nightmare that is all too similar to Obama’s spending habits. Divorce Anyone?