5 Million Visitor Contest – Polls Open

• Once I have those Ruby Slippers not even Fox News, Rush Limbaugh or the CIA will be able to stop me! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehehehehehe (23%, 38 Votes)
• “I’ll get you my pretty and your little dog Toto too!” (19%, 32 Votes)
• George Bush?! GEORGE BUSH??!! Sloooooooly, I turned, ….step by step, …inch by inch, …. (10%, 17 Votes)
• Those Republicans want to tax BOTOX injections? (10%, 16 Votes)
• As Nancy turned to look at me, she snarled “… If I could just choke Biden and then Obama like this … there would be NO STOPPING ME! Then the CIA would do MY BIDDING!” (10%, 16 Votes)
• Shh I’m just a few feet away from Panetta’s fat neck. (5%, 9 Votes)
• Pelosi went into great detail in describing what human CO2 emissions do to the atmosphere of our planet. When asked about her own hot air, she was quoted saying, “I do not..I repeat..do NOT breath!" (5%, 9 Votes)
• "Curt at Flopping Aces is mocking me as part a 5 Million Visit Contest? I never visited that site. Last time I entered a caption contest I LOST!" (4%, 6 Votes)
• The streets will flow with the blood of the GOPers! (3%, 5 Votes)
• Come here my pretty! (3%, 5 Votes)
• No, what the CIA told me was that waterboarding gave the bad guys breast out to here! I only wanted them to have what I never got. (3%, 5 Votes)
• “……and in this dream I had you know who by the throat and I just kept squeezing and squeezing and squeezing and……Oh! What was it you were saying? (3%, 5 Votes)
• These meat hooks will eventually get you.. (2%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 165

• I said I’m not going to answer any more questions on that, go ahead ask one more and I’ll scratch your eyes out. (15%, 19 Votes)
• Nancy Pelosi describes Bill Clinton’s testicles… (15%, 19 Votes)
• “Panetta, you cursed brat! I’m melting… Melltinnngg!! Oh my world, my world! Who would have thought a Democrat hack like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness…?” (13%, 17 Votes)
• “I’ll get you my pretty - and your little dog too!” (13%, 16 Votes)
• “Darth Cheney, I vant to drringk yourr blood! I need power! more power!!!” (12%, 15 Votes)
• “No, no you can’t get away. From hell’s heart I stab at thee…for hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.” (8%, 10 Votes)
• This is what I would do to those CIA agents…….. (7%, 9 Votes)
• “Forget waterboarding! I could make Khalid Sheik Muhammed talk by wrapping my scrawny chicken-bone fingers around his neck until . . . never mind.” (5%, 6 Votes)
• “Where do I find the inspiration to remain a hardcore Leftest, even when it flys in the face of logic? Two words…., Bill Clinton, OMG, Bill Clinton. Need I say more?” (4%, 5 Votes)
• Pelosi has trouble accepting blame:Pelosi, “It I find the person that made me wear that ugly coat I’ll murderize them.” Staff, “You dressed yourself.” Pelosi, “No I don’t and never have!” (4%, 5 Votes)
• ” Panetta, you talking to ME???” (3%, 4 Votes)
• Nancy reminisces about playing her favorite instrument. (2%, 3 Votes)
• Pelosi’s latest excuse: “Waterboarding? No, the CIA was breifing me on how they planned to ring their necks.” (-1%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 128

• And then Pinky, we’ll take over the world!!! (22%, 26 Votes)
• “If I get my hands on Leon Panetta, I’ll throttle him!” (18%, 21 Votes)
• Leon Panetta once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. (12%, 14 Votes)
• give me those CIA agents and we won’t need waterboarding. (7%, 8 Votes)
• If I only had my hands on those leakers. (7%, 8 Votes)
• “You keep saying you’ve got something for me. something you call a briefing, but confess. You’ve been messin’ where you shouldn’t have been a messin’ and now I can’t remember – is this a memory test? (7%, 8 Votes)
• Elections have consequences (5%, 6 Votes)
• The CIA held me by the throat like this and made me swallow! (5%, 6 Votes)
• “I told General Petraus and Colonel Sander’s ‘We were not,…..I repeat,…WE..NOT,…chokin the chickens!’” (5%, 6 Votes)
• “Come here, let me help you ‘open your mind and heart’!” (4%, 5 Votes)
• Paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plastic! …No, paper! …No, plasti (3%, 3 Votes)
• A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (3%, 3 Votes)
• “Would you believe peanut butter and jelly” (2%, 2 Votes)
• “How to get a camel going? No, fool, this is how your scrawny neck gets snapped if I YOU don’t get Leon either on-side or recanting.” (0%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 117

• I did not…repeat not..let me repeat what I said….my statement (shuffles paper around)……………..We have to save the planet..polar bears are drowning. (15%, 17 Votes)
• “LIAR?, they calling me a liar? I will crush them” (14%, 16 Votes)
• I’ll get you my pretty, and all your money and freedoms too! (13%, 15 Votes)
• I’ll get you my pretty and your baby Trig too! (11%, 12 Votes)
• “Maybe they did brief us on waterboarding, but I was eating this really sweet sammich and not really paying attention.” (8%, 9 Votes)
• I will strangle the life out of the enemy. What? No, not terrorists…right-wing republicans, illegal immigration opponents and returning US soldiers…the REAL danger! Duh. (8%, 9 Votes)
• I kill you, infidel. (5%, 6 Votes)
• The CIA lied to me!!!! and…oh YEA…my horsey has testicles “THIS BIG” (4%, 5 Votes)
• So this is how it works; You hold this board that is made out of water and then you hit the freedom fighter repeatedly with it until he agrees with you! (4%, 5 Votes)
• “OH YA? well MY cajones are this big, just ask Leon Panetta” (4%, 5 Votes)
• “True Barack, I’ll give you that. You are very pro-choice. But I can strangle two babies at the same time” (4%, 5 Votes)
• No one said they were actually using red paint. (4%, 4 Votes)
• Can I just finish my Cheezburger… (3%, 3 Votes)
• I strangle “I One” with the left, “Plugs” with the right, and as Madame President, I’ll have both claws around Panetta and his CIA. (3%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 113

• “My precious, I must have my precious,ooops the cameras are rolling,what did I say?,Crap! Uh,the CIA under orders from Bush were putting words in my mouth…that was not me you just heard,it was Cheney (18%, 20 Votes)
• “I grabbed Cheney like this and I said ‘Do me now or I’ll waterboard ya!’” (14%, 16 Votes)
• “Then after I water boarded the son of a bitch, I choked the bastard” …and that was just George Bush…then I grabbed Dick Chaney like this and …… (10%, 11 Votes)
• I can behead you with these Barry. So cover my back or else. (10%, 11 Votes)
• “I’m telling you if Obama was REALLY a black man, he would be more like THIS !! At least that has been my experience,…..I mean, that’s what I’ve heard” (8%, 9 Votes)
• Dick Cheney’s manhood is so big, I had to hold it like this! (8%, 9 Votes)
• Grrrrrrrrrr! (6%, 7 Votes)
• “Then after I water boarded the son of a bitch, I choked the bastard” (6%, 7 Votes)
• Where is my saxophone? (6%, 7 Votes)
• will squeeze the “truth” out of them with my man hands like pus from a zit until they repent and join my altered universe. Oh dear, would that be torture? (5%, 6 Votes)
• No, I’m not I tell you. I’m not “Street RAT Crazy”. I’m not a liar either. (4%, 5 Votes)
• “So anyway Bill Clinton was at my place the other night and he was showing me some of Monica’s magic moves you know and he said that Monica used to grab his you know…thing…like this…….. and well, here (4%, 5 Votes)
• You really look mad (1%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 113