Two weeks ago I published an open letter here to a long-time, long-distance friend after I learned she had voted for Donald Trump. I stated that I realized I never really knew her, that I couldn’t fall back on the thought that she lived in the Rust Belt and experienced “economic anxiety” (she doesn’t, and surely isn’t) and that I’m just being honest when I say we can no longer be friends.
There was a lot of response on social media and elsewhere, most of it positive, much of it from people in far more difficult situations ― people who opposed Trump and were struggling with relationships they’ve had with parents, siblings, children or closer friends who voted for Trump. Many expressed how the letter articulated thoughts similar to their own, no matter how differently (or similarly) they may navigate this in their own lives.
Then there were the Trump supporters who criticized the piece. They almost universally claimed they couldn’t believe anyone was breaking off a friendship over “politics.” This, to me, was both ludicrous and disingenuous ― if very telling ― particularly since I’d addressed it right there in the open letter:
Some have said in the days since the election that they can’t believe people are ending friendships and family relationships over “politics.” They’d say that I’m being silly, petty, or overacting. But this election was and continues to be about so much more than “politics.” This is about values and respect. It’s about bigotry and hate. It’s about millions of people’s rights being threatened, including my rights as a gay man and yours as a woman. It’s about putting our entire democracy in danger of transforming into an autocracy, and legitimizing and making alliances with our worst adversaries, whose goal is to dominate us.
Many of these Trump supporters ― a lot of them traditional Republicans who went “home,” as political pundits nauseatingly put it ― are defensive about the fact that they voted for the unstable racist, misogynist and self-proclaimed sexual assaulter, and they’re fearful of admitting to themselves and certainly others that they tolerated hate and bigotry. They can’t face that they’re in bed with what appears to be a large swath of other Trump supporters who actually revel in their own racism, pushing white supremacist hate and feeling emboldened by what they view as Trump’s embrace: making Steve Bannon his chief White House strategist. So, they conjure up all kinds of rationalizations or whirl around in a sort of denial.
These are the Trump supporters that went bonkers over my open letter to my friend.
On several websites and on social media they portrayed me as the “intolerant” liberal. Of course, I’m proudly intolerant of bigotry -– but that’s not what they meant. One writer claimed I went on an “unfriending spree,” which was a complete lie, as I mentioned no other friends in my open letter. I’m happy to report, in fact, that this was the only friend of mine who voted for Trump, including among Republican and conservative friends.
Twice in two weeks, the producers of a well-known conservative TV host have invited me on-air to talk with him about the letter (take my word for it when I say his take on it is quite predictable), and I’ve received invitations from some other interviewers as well. I’ve declined all of them.
On Twitter, some Trump supporters have tried to shame me by criticizing me for not debating the issue with this or that interviewer. But there is actually nothing to debate or discuss, as the letter speaks for itself. These kinds of interviews are solely for the purpose of assuaging the interviewers’ (and followers’) guilt, or justifying their rationalizations or self-righteousness ― in this case for putting a madman in the White House, knowing that even some of their own conservative and Republican friends refused to vote for him.
One critic who described my letter as breaking off a friendship over “politics” ―despite my clearly having stated that wasn’t the case ― is a little-known pundit who is gay and who opined that Trump isn’t interested in taking away gay marriage no matter what he’s said. Now, I’ve pointed out how Mike Pence is running the transition and is already getting the anti-LGBTQ agenda set regarding domestic policy, and that Trump’s cabinet picks who will run the government departments are a who’s who of homophobia.
But even if that weren’t true, why would you give a chance (as this critic put it) to someone who pandered to those who hate you?
The rest at HuffPo
@Richard Wheeler:
I realize you’re trying to pull that out of your butt, it sure as hell wasn’t anywhere else. None of the experts briefed anyone to the effect. They used the term (by ‘they’ I’m including Clapper)smoking gun as in ‘there is no smoking gun saying that Russia did it” They only ‘concluded’ (because Obozo wanted them to) that the Russians did it. they NEVER said it. Maybe you should resume digging.
@Richard Wheeler:
back to your childish name calling.. You just can’t help yourself. More ammo for that tuition refund.
@Richard Wheeler:
And the only people in high positions in Obozo’s admin is those that sing his tunes. It has been pointed out to you that US intelligence did not make any conclusions about hacking. They only endorsed the DNC’s claims because Obozo told them too.
@Richard Wheeler:
ah, so. and you contributed to that bar being set low by helping to elect the most unqualified failed community organizing Indonesian citizen into that job. Once you’ve dropped the bar into a deep well, it’s going to take a lot of digging for anyone to get below it. That’s where you helped put that bar, Richie, back in Nov 08. It has not started to be raised since that time. Remember it was you that said the bar was set very low, and that’s how Trump could be elected and that Bar is Obozo.
@Richard Wheeler:
If you get your tuition refund, you might try a school that can teach you how the American presidential election is conducted. No one votes for or against any candidate. Everyone votes for electoral college electors. The goal is to get 50+ percent. There is no attempt by anyone to accumulate the most popular votes. That’s a post that students in high school vote for ‘most popular’. I’m sure it’s theoretically possible for someone to get 66 million popularity votes and not get a single electoral vote. I haven’t actually verified that, but I’m sure it’s numerically possible, so what’s the point of talking about Hillary running for most popular when the objective was the presidency? Now if you had a smart person running, say someone like Trump, that actually had been educated somewhere that they got real value from the tuition they paid (unlike you), then they might realize that it was more important to get more electoral votes and not be overly concerned about ‘Miss Popularity”. So you continuing to talk about a meaningless vote total only reflects on your lack of understanding of the American Electoral system. (You’re really accumulating a lot of ammo for demanding your tuition refund)
@RedTeam: Thanks for not talking about how many runs were scored in the World Series by the losers..
@RedTeam: Obama is 2 and 0—Trump’s got a ways to go.
@Richard Wheeler:
That’s because it was not what they were doing. It was all about winning games, not getting runs. Kinda like the election.
@RedTeam: Did Clapper sing Reagan’s tune when he worked for him for Bush I OR 2.
You’re gonna believe the Prez of Russia over a man who has served this country 50+ years. What does that say about you RT–I can see you buying Trump’s shtick but to be a tool of Putin? Disgraceful -especially from a Navy man.
@RedTeam: There you go again talking baseball You really can’t stop.lol
@Richard Wheeler:
Oh, now I understand. You’re pointing to the fact that Obama never got elected because he wasn’t even playing the game, since he wasn’t even eligible. He just got appointed by the Dimocrats. But then I could point out that even though he wasn’t ‘the man for the job’ (like you claim Trump isn’t) at least he is an American citizen. But now, since Obozo got to serve because he was black, you think Hillary should serve because she’s a woman. Hmmm, you might have a point.
@RedTeam: Anyone who read this would say you are nuts RT.
Watch your health–I seriously don’t wanna see you back in the hospital again,
Good Night.
@Richard Wheeler:
Absolutely, you think you survive in politics by going against your boss? not likely.
Am I going to get that opportunity? I haven’t heard the Prez of Russia talk about this subject. Have you? And I’ll note that you nor me nor no one else in the civilized world has heard Clapper state any evidence, only an opinion. He has that and an A$$ hole, both are about the same value.
That I would rather someone tell the truth and quit trying to blow smoke up everyone’s xxx. And it tells me that truth is more important than someone’s lies just for political gain. So what does that say about you Richie? You’re all ready to take Obozo’s word for it? Even when you know this computer business has likely been a thorn in the side of Obozo for at least 5 years and he has not dealt with it until he could use it for political purposes.
Quote anything I’ve said that is friendly to Putin. It’s been all a put down of dimocrats, USA variety. I’ve never said anything good about Russians.
I’m not sure what there is about believing in the American system that you consider disgraceful, but then I don’t think like someone that needs to have his tuition refunded because it was taken under the pretense of having educated you. I’m not sure what being a Navy man has to do with it. I still stand and put my hand over my heart for the National Anthem, unlike what many of the dimocrats are taking up the habit of doing.
@Richard Wheeler:
You’ve got to realize I’m trying to stay on your level and that’s hard to do when you’re dealing with someone that’s working to get a refund on his tuition. Keep us all informed of your progress on that. Maybe you could sue Donald Trump, I hear he’s got a lot of money.