Democrats Have Painted Themselves into a Corner

“Jettison the Animals!”

Probably the only crime not documented on Hunter Biden’s laptop is murder, though given his dad’s position in government, and given the desperation building over unfriendly forces currently deciphering said laptop like a Rosetta Stone of the “Big Guy’s” corruption, and given Pop’s access to the Intel Community and its various rogue workshops, who knows who might have got whacked along the Bidens’ road to perdition.
The “president” famously loves and admires his son — “the smartest man I know,” he’s said — but every once in a while, in those infrequent lucid moments between breakfast and the morning “lid” on his imperial duties, “Joe Biden” must smack himself in his Blarney Stone of a head wondering how the hell did that meshugganah kid of mine manage to lose that goddam treasure-map of a laptop! And just as quickly, the fugitive thought floats away like a soap bubble…. It’s easy to play dumb when you’re already senile.
Perhaps “Joe B” dimly senses the dark presence of the Deep State pussyfooting closer and closer to his zone of special protection. It’s said, for instance, that the CIA enjoys the use of Jeff Bezos’s Washington Post for molding public opinion to suit its agenda… and that lately the newspaper has joined the FBI-chummy New York Times in disclosing that Hunter’s laptop may, after all, not be the hobgoblin of “Russian disinformation” that fifty former Intel nabobs said it was… but rather… a thing… an unbelievably toxic hairball stuck in the Deep State’s craw — considering that however much the Deep State is disparaged, it at least is supposed to protect its government myrmidons from taint sufficient to keep them in their useful offices — and Gawd knows what else in the way of vile secrets will get upchucked behind that hairball.
Rumors have it that Merrick Garland’s DOJ is conducting an investigation of Hunter Biden’s tax quandaries. They must be wicked complex. In the case, for example, of monies exceeding a billion dollars transferred from CCP-connected companies to Hunter’s Rosemont Seneca Investment firm, was Biden-the-Younger a mere fiduciary? Or did those funds make a trip to some Baltic State laundry, where they got washed, rinsed, and delivered to the personal bank accounts of Hunter, Uncle Jim, Uncle Frank, and Dr. Jill? If memory serves, the much-maligned Rudy Giuliani probably has those laundry tickets.
The fabled Hard-drive-from Hell apparently contains evidence of felonious misdeeds other than tax evasion ranging from treason, bribery, and wire fraud, to child sex-trafficking and the use of Air Force Two in the commission of crimes. That leaves AG Mr. Garland on a hot spot of dreadful discomfiture. Does he call off the dogs on that vast bone-pile of perfidy and just “laser focus” on some rinky-dink tax charge — and then face the wrath in ten months of a sure-to-be Republican majority House and Senate capable not just of impeaching his ass, but making criminal referrals on it? Or is compelling evidence of high crimes going to be spewed all over the land by those aforesaid private-sector sleuths poring over Hunter’s hard-drive, in a way that the AG can only ignore at the risk of his own reputation… or maybe even a year in some federal slammer for obstruction of justice?
Kinda depends a little bit on what sort of commotion special counsel Mr. John Durham stirs up if-and-when he gets around to indicting any of the superstars of RussiaGate — many of them former and current DOJ and FBI personnel — because when that happens, the odor around Mr. Garland’s department will be so pungent that prosecutors will have to work the Hunter case wearing industrial-strength, full-face, carbon-filtered respirators.
In short, is the dear Deep State fixing to throw “Joe Biden” overboard in a play for its own legitimacy, as if it is actually looking after the nation’s interests? At some point, even ghouls and spooks have a certain survival instinct. And all that might kinda depend on whether President Vlad Putin of Russia happens to disclose what exactly his soldiers found when they captured the numerous “bio-research” labs that ringed Ukraine’s former eastern provinces near the Russian border. Hunter Biden’s companies had an ownership position in those labs, which were actually run by the US Department of Defense jointly with (who else?) the CIA. The wildest stories are circulating about the labs — like, they were developing horrific designer plagues targeted specifically at genetically Slavic people… to be spread by loosing infected migratory birds into the Eurasian skies… say, what…? When, exactly, did American foreign policy turn into something out of a Marvel Comic?
Anyway, in case you’ve forgotten, the Biden family melodrama is actually a sideshow to the main event in the center ring right now: the collapse of Western Civ, starring the USA as a once-promising beacon of liberty and decency, now reduced to the equivalent of a homeless fentanyl freak gibbering about gender Marxism in history’s gutter. The scaffold of the economy is collapsing, helped along by “Joe Biden’s” foolish bid to disrupt global banking arrangements, boomeranging right back in Western Civ’s chops, as the supply lines to every conceivable precious commodity from fertilizer to rare earths — with oil in the middle of all that — get recklessly severed. Isn’t it bad enough that we no longer make anything in our country; now we don’t even have access to the stuff we might need if we ever actually considered making stuff again? On top of that, no food for you, O nation of whimpering simps, lost in your Tik-Tok raptures of virtual orgasm. March of 2022 sure was a humdinger. And, of course, April always begins with a joke, before the serious fun starts.