Its official-Kamala cannot find the southern border. 50 days ago she was tasked with solving the deluge of brand-new Democrat voters pouring across the border. Joe, in a lucid moment, reading from his teleprompter was told, “Border busted. Trump’s fault. Get what’s her name to fix it.” Joe turned to Kamala and yelled, “Hey sweet cheeks, how about fixing that border thingy? Go meet with the president of Mexico–he’s gonna love you.” Kamala cackled, rolled her eyes, and replied, “Yeah, in your dreams bucko. I’m just waiting to be king and I don’t need the stink from your debacle on my resume.” Unfortunately, she was wearing her hockey mask, so her response was muffled.
Apparently, the optics of kids detained in plastic cages and swaddled like baked potatoes is pretty onerous to all conservatives who love this country and even a few liberals now who secretly whisper, “Did 80 million people really vote for that dude and dudette in 2020?” Liberals rightly fear that storms are a-brewing in 2022 and 2024. The next elections are right around the corner, and the sound of hoofbeats are getting louder. Think Charge of the Light Brigade with Trump on his steed leading the attack against the panicked Dems who have barricaded themselves in the capital. Those jellyfish are hiding behind concertina wire trying desperately to protect the 60 Executive Orders safely secured in Biden’s refrigerator right next to the meatloaf platter. COVID won’t be around to help sleepy Joe and the Dems this round and Republicans will be all over the polling places like hungry flies on a rib roast.
The border crisis is now so toxic that white house sycophants scurried under the “Cone of Silence” to find a solution. They thunk and they thunk and finally, a new strategy emerged called……wait for it….Hide All Rugrat Kids, or HARK for short. The HARK plan is a simple shell game played with children. In the dead of night, you evacuate all the kids from the detention center and stash them in plain sight at Waffle Houses across the south. In the morning you invite the media (who are basically trained seals) to take pictures of the empty cages, shout voilà, high five each other and declare the problem solved on all mainstream media outlets. Easy-peasy! You have to admire the liberals for pulling another sleight of hand trick like the 2020 election. In another burst of genius, Biden and Harris purchased 2000 signs to proclaim that the tsunami of illegals invading was simply a tempest in a teapot. One sign will be installed every mile at the border. These signs will proclaim once and for all that the border crisis has been solved and no one is allowed to ever speak of it again. Find a liberal, give him/her/ze/zir/hir a big hug and thank them/zirs/hirs for solving a problem that bad man Trump left behind.
Meanwhile, little Juan from Guatemala just wants to go back home. He always dreamed of coming to America and thought that Joe Biden was a super neat guy who really cared about his welfare. Juan packed light barely survived the hazardous journey and finally crossed over the border into America. He really thought that Joe or Kamala would personally meet him at the border, give him a big hug, something to eat, and welcome him to America. Unfortunately, little Juan woke up the next morning, scared, and homesick. He was sick, sad, and sorry that he made the trip. America was just another disappointment in his brief but tragic life.
Good news Juan. Conservatives will come roaring back in 2022 and 2024. We are sorry for the delay but with God’s grace America will be restored to “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”