Posted by DrJohn on 17 March, 2014 at 10:07 am. 23 comments already!



In response to Russian interference in the Ukraine, Barack Obama has flashed bursts of umbrage:

The president on Monday ordered sanctions against Russian and Ukrainian officials following Sunday’s secession referendum in Crimea, a vote he said was “a clear violation of the Ukrainian constitution and international law.”

He said the United States would “calibrate our response based on whether Russia chooses to escalate or deescalate the situation.”

“We are imposing sanctions on specific individuals responsible for undermining the sovereignty, territorial integrity and government of Ukraine,” Obama said. “We’re making it clear that there are consequences for their actions.”

Pledging to “stand firm in our unwavering support for Ukraine,” the president insisted “Ukraine’s sovereignty and territorial integrity must be respected and international law must be upheld.”

“We have been guided by a fundamental principle: the future of Ukraine must be decided by the people of Ukraine,” the president said.

As opposed to Libya, the nation whose government Obama overthrew.

Anyway, we at Flopping Aces have gotten hold of a memo listing the actions Obama could take against Putin and here are the Top Ten:

10. Order an IRS audit of Putin
9. Refuse to approve Putin’s application for a 501 (c)3 application
8. Take away Putin’s tee time on Saturday
7. Rescind his invitation to Putin for the next $32,000 a plate Obama fundraiser
6. Refuse the JayZ and Beyoncé autographs
5. Demand Putin return the NTSC DVD’s of Obama’s speeches
4. Be less transparent
3. Put the US-Russia talks on CSPAN
2. Close Gitmo

And the number one Obama-Putin threat:

1. Take away Putin’s plan AND his doctor

Putin has already responded, saying “You have a pen and a phone. I have Crimea”*

*Inspired by commenter Fozzie over at Politico


11. Obama: “Stop this, Vladimir or I’m going to have to open another can of Flexible”

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