In response to Russian interference in the Ukraine, Barack Obama has flashed bursts of umbrage:
The president on Monday ordered sanctions against Russian and Ukrainian officials following Sunday’s secession referendum in Crimea, a vote he said was “a clear violation of the Ukrainian constitution and international law.”
He said the United States would “calibrate our response based on whether Russia chooses to escalate or deescalate the situation.”
“We are imposing sanctions on specific individuals responsible for undermining the sovereignty, territorial integrity and government of Ukraine,” Obama said. “We’re making it clear that there are consequences for their actions.”
Pledging to “stand firm in our unwavering support for Ukraine,” the president insisted “Ukraine’s sovereignty and territorial integrity must be respected and international law must be upheld.”
“We have been guided by a fundamental principle: the future of Ukraine must be decided by the people of Ukraine,” the president said.
As opposed to Libya, the nation whose government Obama overthrew.
Anyway, we at Flopping Aces have gotten hold of a memo listing the actions Obama could take against Putin and here are the Top Ten:
10. Order an IRS audit of Putin
9. Refuse to approve Putin’s application for a 501 (c)3 application
8. Take away Putin’s tee time on Saturday
7. Rescind his invitation to Putin for the next $32,000 a plate Obama fundraiser
6. Refuse the JayZ and Beyoncé autographs
5. Demand Putin return the NTSC DVD’s of Obama’s speeches
4. Be less transparent
3. Put the US-Russia talks on CSPAN
2. Close Gitmo
And the number one Obama-Putin threat:
1. Take away Putin’s plan AND his doctor
Putin has already responded, saying “You have a pen and a phone. I have Crimea”*
*Inspired by commenter Fozzie over at Politico
UPDATE
11. Obama: “Stop this, Vladimir or I’m going to have to open another can of Flexible”
See author page
Talk about a targeted response!
Then the NYPost said, wait, there’s more!
The U.S. slapped economic sanctions on 11 high-level Russian government and Ukrainian officials Monday.
I bet Russia is shaking in its collective boots.
Give Putin an Ipod full of Obama speeches.
Things seem to be going quite well indeed.
-Take away his gym pass.
–
Crimea —-Is Texas next?
@Nanny G:
Putin’s playing chess and we have a president that has yet to master hop scotch.
Obama’s list of sanctions against the Russian officials today causes the Russian market to rally.
We know Obama can’t spell R E S P E C T. Can he spell I N E P T?
Runner ups:
20 Obama sends Putin an American zone Blueray player and Japanese zone copies of the Iron Man films.
19 Michelle visits Russia to convince Putin’s Chef into following her school lunch menu.
18 Obama visits the Ukraine on a golf outing and refuses to invite Putin.
17 Obama takes away Israel’s “Most Favored Nation” status and warns that Crimea may be next.
16 Obama’s FCC order’s all US news agencies to label Putin a “racist” for not doing what Barack wants.
15 Eric Holder sends assault weapons to Crimea’s pro-Russian forces.
14 Kerry offers to dismantle America’s nuclear arsenal if Putin agrees not to invade France.
13 Obama sends Rahm Emanuel to deliver a dead fish to Putin. (Putin eats the fish, with fava beans and a nice Californian white wine.)
12 Obama cries, stamps his foot and has Harry Reid go on the Senate floor to blame it all on Bush the TEA Party and the Koch brothers.
11 Obama apologizes for his rash harsh words and surrenders America to Putin.
@Ditto: Perhaps he promised the Ukranians that if they like their country they can keep their country. Those of us who couldn’t keep our health insurance plans know how that goes.
I blame Jonathan Quick.
He stopped more shots in the USA-Russia hockey game than did the Russian goalie.
Today Putin called Obama’s ”sanctions” the act of a prankster.
Then he set to banning all elected US officials and Senators from entering Russia.
John McCain called Obama’s policy an appeasement policy.
He is pushing for something strong enough to deter Putin from going after yet another ex-soviet republic with Russian-speaking persons in it, like Moldova.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/03/17/russia-will-sanction-u-s-officials.html
This whole Crimea dispute has the dignity, class and intelligence level of a food fight.
Nancy Pelosi announced that she will no longer stock Russian Vodka on ant of her future flights.
From the looks of that conversation these two were having “just before the 2012 Elections” you know the one where it was overheard “O” would have “more flexibility” after the elections when speaking to Putin… you would think they were the “‘best of buds” at the time…
Seems like Putin is giving to Obama what Obama is giving to (certain citizens ) of the United States of America…absolutely “No Respect” (Oh, I’m sorry it’s rspect) …while throwing his weight around…
…and that is just a few things among many things Obama is doing, not only to “certain citizens ” of America…”other” citizens are finding out Obama knows no bounds especially when it comes to his “subjects” in Merika….some are finding out they are not immune…to Obama’s “wrath”
Obama is a Tough Guy in America against the Responsible and Patriotic kind of American Citizens…I believe Putin most likely sees Obama is weak and is, at this very time in history ‘testing him”…
11. Obama asks Bush what he did when Putin invaded Georgia. “Nothing.”
@This one: Except that’s not true.
@Thisone#14
What exactly did you want Bush to do Thisone?
Obama: “Putin? Which bracket is he in?”
@This one:
Bush sent troops into Georgia
@DrJohn#18 – thisone likes to throw bombs out there. Seems only fair to ask the next question…of which he didn’t answer anyway…hope your link stating the ‘facts’ cleared up the lies thisone wants to perpetrate….
Troops on a ‘humanitarian mission,’ after an invasion and take over was completed and there was a cease fire. So…did Putin leave? No. Bush couldn’t say much after starting his own war based on an obvious lie. Bush was weak! Bush emboldened Putin! Lol.
@This one:
Hey when is Putin going to back down as you said?
Clueless again you are.
@Mully: Putin is a KGB thug—and humpty dumpty who wants to put the USSR back together again.
Seems the far right wants to fawn over this ego maniac.–kinda sad.
2001: “I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul. He’s a man deeply committed to his country and the best interests of his country and I appreciate very much the frank dialogue and that’s the beginning of a very constructive relationship,” GWBush said of Putin after their summit. Putin echoed mutual admiration, but later warned that the U.S.’s European Missile Defense Program would return both countries to a Cold War posture at best. Bush pushed ahead with his European Missile Defense Plan.
Although Obama announced a halt in the originally planned deployment of missiles to Poland (the entire program was ridiculously defended as a necessary shield – in Poland – against Iranian missiles aimed at the United States and its allies) the plan was later downsized modestly and left otherwise on track.
What would Kennedy have done if Khrushchev had replaced the long-range missiles being installed in Cuba with intermediate-range ones? Setting up a bunch of missiles on an enemy’s doorstep isn’t a good idea anywhere at any time. Either Bush was a VERY bad judge of character, or else he had it right, but then killed the moment with his missiles. Putin was warned by his hawk generals, and under the circumstances, his response to the missiles seems not so out of line. Better Putin aim a weak kick at a weaker neighbor then have him come at us.