Posted by Ryan on 14 September, 2009 at 5:00 am. 12 comments already!


Hold it. Put down the pitchfork.

Did I get your attention?

This isn’t an error or an optical illusion.

I am not delusional.

Let me repeat: America needs Barack Obama.

First, some background. I am a hardcore conservative. Hannity is DVR’d. Mark Levin’s bestseller is on my coffee table. Ainsley Earhardt rocks. The Constitution is sacred. My Bible is my armor. I fight for the unborn and I support the traditional family.

Yep, I’m part of the mob. According to the Democrats, I’m un-American and my tactics resemble Hezbollah and Hamas.

Barack Obama’s empty rhetoric did not impress me. I’ve blogged with a purpose. Civility, entwined with an undying passion, has been broken on several occasions with individuals who fell in love with Barack the Candidate; not Barack the Politician. My family structure suffered as I spent countless hours researching the inner workings of Mr. Obama. I threw out red flag, after red flag, after red flag. America’s future, in my eyes, was already sold. Helplessly, I watched as Obama pulled the wool over the American electorate’s eyes.

I knew him better than Michelle.

However, I’ve had a change of heart. I think we, as Americans, need Barack Obama. I mean he is the second coming of Jimmy Carter, right? I hope this Administration keeps spending trillions of dollars. I like money. Doesn’t everyone? The deficit is just a number. In fact, we could use another stimulus package. I bet we could use another Frisbee golf course around here somewhere. Oh, and taxes are pretty cool, too. I’ll have some more of what he is having, please.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong Il are two, completely sane guys that got caught in a bad situation. I could trust them. It would be great to sit down with those two, Hugo Chavez, and Joe “I’m as cool as the other side of the pillow” Biden and share a few brews on the White House lawn. Imagine the photo possibilities. Maybe it would be a good thing to have a few nukes in the most unstable region of the world. Maybe it would be some sort of reverse psychology. Barack will bring them around. He’s just playing hard to get. This whole “America is an international laughing stock” is just a thing of the past. Maybe this End of Times theology is just a phase that we can talk through. Just ask Israel.

Diversity could be a great alternative. Racist, communist czars could be the missing piece to improving democracy. Lying isn’t a sin if it’s made up information. We call that fiction. Unemployment could be worse. We could be at a 26 year high. Oh…wait. Oh, and health care? Do not even get me started. Who do these town hall people think they are? Standing up and speaking his/her mind. What are they trying to use? The First Amendment? Pssshh. Waste of space. For the last time, government ownership IS the best option available. Look at education, welfare, social security, cash for clunkers, medicare, medicaid, and our tax system. Stellar.

Are you starting to get it? Look at what could be. Barack Obama needs America and America needs Barack Obama. He will lead us down a path of suffering, humiliation, and self-destruction. Liberal ideas, and those who promote them, will crash and burn like never before. It will be the death of the Statist agenda. America will need to be revived from the brink.

That’s where you and I come in. America will see those red flags. We’ll hug and embrace those who “overlooked” Barack the Politician for Barack the Candidate. It will be glorious.

America will be back. We are just taking a four year break. It’s like an experimental drug treatment.

We’ll know all the side effects.

Crossposted from Acting Stupidly

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x