In his own unique and inimitable style, Glenn Beck sums up Barack Obama and all of his “bad luck”:
GLENN: What are the odds? What are the odds that in North Kansas City a couple would get a — would get their credit card bill back… and they would find — they are McCain supporters, and they would find on their credit card bill a $2300 donation to Barack Obama’s presidential campaign? What could this guy — you know what? I have to tell you something. I’ve had a “Come to Jesus” moment on Barack Obama and there’s two ways to really look at this. There’s this guy is surrounded by some of the most evil people you could possibly imagine. The signs are everywhere. I mean, it’s one thing after another after another after another, and you could start to say, “Wait a minute, I’m not buying any of these excuses,” or, or you could say, “Well, he’s just the most unlucky guy ever.” Now, I used to be at the “I don’t think I buy any of these excuses.” But you know what? After seeing that last credit card thing with the ACORN and you’re like, “Okay, now somebody is stealing credit cards and making donations to the Obama campaign.” You could say, you know what, everybody who’s nefarious seems to be involved in helping this guy get elected. But that’s just — you know what it is. Luck. Because hard work, you don’t — look. The one thing I’ve learned is you don’t really control your own destiny. People are going to do everything they can to keep you down. You don’t trust — you don’t — you won’t be able to make it and that’s what’s happening to Barack. He’s just trying to make it. He’s just trying — and think of the odds that he is overcoming. Think of the horrible — look, you think you had it bad? You have no idea what life is like if you’re Barack Obama. I know he’s ahead in the polls and everything and I know he’s probably going to do an unbelievable job at winning this November, but it’s way closer than it should be. Why is that? Policies? No. He’s hopeful, he’s changish. Bad luck.
Think of this. I was just noodling this before I went on the air. Think of these things. Out of all of the women in America that he could marry, hundreds of millions of women that Barack Obama — he’s a good looking guy. He’s fit, he’s trim, he’s smart, he’s successfulish. He’s — you know, he’s got a bright future, unless you know about his luck thing. Out of all the women that he could marry, the possible next President of the United States, he finds the one woman who’s not proud of her country and wants to change its history? The one he happens to luck into. What are the odds? I mean, it’s not like they were related at all on those things. It’s just, he falls in love with her and he’s like, oh, my gosh! And he probably didn’t even know it until she said it on the campaign trail. It was like, oh, my — I didn’t know that. And then, you know, because this is the way all women are, (mumbling). And he’s like, okay. And the new couple, you know, they’re still happy; he doesn’t know she’s unhappy with the country. Well, they pick out a new church and they go there for 20 years. Everything seems great, except now they find out after he starts running for President that the pastor, a guy they considered, quote, family hates America. What? What are the odds? His wife doesn’t like America. She’s not — she’s never been proud of the country. Completely unrelated, a complete coincidence, the pastor hates America. Poor Barack Obama. I mean, maybe Reverend Wright and Michelle have something in common. Maybe they have been sitting around talking about it but she knew. But Barack, “Jeez, now we’ve got two family members that hate America.” What are the odds? And not just people that hate America, but this pastor who was “Family,” thinks America is a racist country where all the white people in the government are trying to kill all the black people in the country with AIDS. They invented AIDS. Now you not only have somebody who hates America but you have somebody who’s crazy in your family and you didn’t know it for 20 years. And by the way, if that were true, if the government were trying to kill all black people in America, black people, you should be very, very safe because it’s a government-run program. I mean, you are going to die of natural causes way before the government could actually get around to actually killing you.
But then Barack Obama’s luck gets even worse. I mean, that’s, that’s bad enough luck. At this point I’m thinking, come on, that’s not a coincidence. I mean, he’s attracting these things to him. No, no. Can’t you see? You’re not in control of your own destiny. You’re destined to be a victim and a victim — there’s nobody who knows victims like Barack Obama.
Think of this. Okay, he’s in that church for 20 years. Apparently the pastor would only say crazy hateful things about America not around the dinner table, not around his house and never, ever say things like U.S. KKK of A or, you know, G-damn America or anything like that. Only the times that Barack and Michelle were in attendance did he say things like that and apparently all of the friends that would have been shocked by something like that, they didn’t attend that weekend, either, because nobody ever said, “My gosh, you should have heard what the pastor said this weekend; it was completely out of character.” Nobody said anything. He didn’t know. What are the odds? It’s crazy. And that pattern went on for 20 years. That’s how bad of luck Barack Obama has, 20 years. Every single time the guy doesn’t show up for church, it’s nonstop the government creates the AIDS virus. Unbelievable. What are the odds? How was he supposed to know that the pastor was a nut job? For two decades the Obamas missed every racist hateful comment toward America and so did all of their friends. The rest of the time, every time they were there, you know, he was talking about actual Bible stuff. The odds are unbelievable. And that’s just the beginning.
Then Barack is like, “Hey, I want to be a state senator. Where should I have it? I mean, I could launch it from a park, you know, I could go to like a cool podium some place, maybe I can go to Pizza Hut. Where could I possibly — and somebody says, hey, I know, you can go do it at my house. And he’s like, really? Now, you would think to yourself, well, that’s lucky. And I’m sure that’s what Barack Obama was thinking, “I don’t know if I have a place to do it, I don’t know if I can get a park and a podium, I don’t know if I can get into Pizza Hut and we’ll have room for all the cameras. And this guy seems to have a big house. I mean, I don’t know him, we live in the same neighborhood but we don’t really talk.” Okay, so he launches at his house, and it’s this beautiful house. Turns out — ready for this one? Turns out the guy is a home grown terrorist. I mean, who knew? I mean, besides everybody because the guy wasn’t hiding it and it was in the New York Times, but who knew? I mean, Ayers had blown up buildings, even the Pentagon, which is wild because somebody else just blew up the Pentagon and you’d think that that would come up in conversation, you know, like when you’re meeting him. “Hey, by the way, you’re launching your campaign over at the William Ayers house. You do know that he’s the guy who blew up the Pent…” that’s how unlucky Barack Obama is. He didn’t know. I mean, what are the odds? You’ve really got to feel for Barack Obama at some point. This guy just can’t catch a break. He’s just trying to do the right thing. He’s just trying to organize his community. That’s it. It’s completely — you know, the As aren’t where the As are supposed to be and the Fs are over in the G slot and he’s like, I’ve got to reorganize this whole community now. I’m busy. Can somebody throw me a bone and tell me who’s a terrorist and who’s not a terrorist? I mean, what are there? Only a couple of hundred domestic terrorists in America, maybe? I mean, I think I’m being pretty generous. Maybe a couple of hundred people? 300 million people in the country and you’re like, “Oh, crap, I’m sitting with a domestic terrorist at his house launching my campaign?” It’s incredible. This guy is Charlie Brown. You’ve got to feel sorry for him. He’s a victim!
And you, you can relate to him because you’re a victim, too. You’ll never be able to make it. You need somebody to help you. And because he understands victims, he can help you. I just, you know, I just refrained this in my head and realized what are the odds? My gosh. But our story is just starting. It gets worse. It turns out Barack was on a board of community organization. He was the star. He was the man. He was the guy. They hand-picked him: “You need to run this.” He could have picked any board. Any board could have picked him. Out of all the hundreds and thousands of boards, he happens to be sitting on the same one as the domestic terrorist! I mean, is that rough luck or what? You’re like, “Oh, crap. The one that picks me is that one?” And then, and then he serves on another board with Ayers. I mean, he couldn’t get more unlucky. Is he cursed? I have to — I’m worried that maybe he’s cursed. Does somebody have a voodoo doll against him?
Now, I don’t want this all to be doom and gloom. I want you to know that they have hit some lucky patches, thank goodness. Otherwise, I mean, how could they, how could they go on just victims of all of these ill-timed events and chance meetings and friends that turn out to be practical enemies of the state or former prisoners? My goodness. Well, it’s not all bad news. I mean, according to Barack and Michelle, they did have one stroke of luck. They got rich. You won’t, you know, because you — well, when they get in, well, they will help you get rich. But they just happened to stumble into it. It had nothing to do with hard work or anything. In fact, Michelle Obama put it, “It was like Jack and his magic beans.” Man, I guess you have to be really unlucky for a very long time to get Jack and his magic beans to make you a millionaire.
So at least now they could put food on the table several million times, you know, although in a way that was bad luck because it hurt the medicine that you need the federal government to make it. “Wait, wait, wait, we were only lucky.” Turns out federal government, you know, they weren’t the ones that helped the Obamas get rich. Amazing, I mean just think of the odds, the odds in the other way on how unlucky they’ve been. They are the one couple who has been able to make it without the government. So now they had some money. Luck. Victims? Lucky victims, very unlucky but sometimes lucky victims.
So they decided to buy a new house because they have got money now and they are like, hey, let’s buy a new house. That’s the American dream. And his wife is like, no, no, that’s the American promise. So they went out, they looked and they’re like, we can’t afford these houses, even for us millionaires, they can’t afford these houses. But they got a lucky deal. They got an amazing deal. The seller decided to split their lot into two lots. This almost never happens. They’re like, “We want to buy this but we can’t afford it and they are like, hmmm, what could we do? You know what, I like you guys so much, why don’t I split this lot into two. I wonder if there’s anybody that wants to — oh, my gosh, there’s a buyer, and a buyer for the other half of the lot just showed up. It was incredible. Again what are the odds? So the Obamas bought one half and somebody else — I don’t know who it was — bought the other. I mean, has anything ever like — has anything happened like that with you? I never even heard — again, very, very unlucky lucky victims. Because you know victimization is right around the corner. Right, as soon as they start feeling lucky, victimization sets in.
So it was so exciting because not only did they get the home for $300,000 under market value, and this is in 2005 when home prices were going through the roof. They got — the person was like, I like you guys so much, I’m going to sell it to you for $300,000 less, and somebody else who we don’t know yet is going to buy the other part of this lot. And on the same day that they closed on their new property, the buyer who bought the other side was closing on theirs. It was so exciting, and their new neighbor was nice. They got to know him. It was Tony Rezco. And out of the kindness of his heart, he paid the full price for the empty lot that had been sitting there for months, which made it possible for the Obamas to get a $300,000 savings. So lucky, those victims.
And then because Rezco is such a great guy, he was like, you know what, I don’t want to live there. Why don’t I sell my strip of land so you can have a bigger yard and no one would buy the lot that, you know, he was — that Rezco paid for, nobody would buy it anyway. So he was like, “I’m not going to live there and there’s nobody willing to buy it. Why don’t you guys buy it.” It’s incredible. And what luck because Tony Rezco’s a political fundraiser, you know? Now, here’s the victimhood again. Little did they know, who would have seen this one coming. This political fundraiser who bought the land that he never lived on gave them this sweetheart deal. Apparently unbeknownst to the Obamas, he was into sweetheart deals with politicians, and just this year he was convicted of several counts of fraud and bribery and — but that’s not the Tony Rezco that Obama knew. He just knew the nice neighbor guy who bought the strip of land so he could buy a house. That’s it. It was a really — I mean, he’s admitted that, boy, that was a stupid thing for me to do. I don’t even know what I was doing there. So I mean, he’s learned his lesson, you know? Nice guy, helps you buy and save hundreds of thousands of dollars, you know, turns out to be a bribe attempt or at least, you know, not this case but other cases like that. Not this one, but other ones. What are the odds? It’s just horrible.
And as if his luck couldn’t even get worse, the champion of the people, you know, the champion of the community organizers. “Wait, wait, wait, N doesn’t belong there. That’s where the O goes.” And he’s just trying to organize communities. Here he is, the champion, the Messiah of the people in an attempt just to help the community… organize, he decides to donate some of his campaign money to a group who’s also out. They’re just getting everybody… organized. But out of all of the groups, out of all of them, out of the gazillions of groups that are out there getting communities… organized, out of the phone books and phone books of every city in America you can page through, what’s the one he stops on? My goodness, Charlie Brown, he finds the one that’s committing voter fraud in every single swing state. What are the odds! And to make things worse, there are employees who are supposed to be nonpartisan wearing ACORN For Obama shirts, which doesn’t look good… but once again you’ll never get ahead because the system is stacked against ya and you want to talk about the number one victim in America. It is Barack Obama.
Oh, by the way, just have to throw this in. His mentor — I mean, here he has a dad who abandons him and he’s like, hey, let’s do some father and son things. And he comes upon this mentor, this guy name Frank. He writes about him in his book. He just hangs with him and he teaches him and everything. It’s great. Turns out that Frank is Frank Marshall Davis, a communist, a well known communist back in the Sixties, and he hates capitalism. What horrible luck! What are the odds! Out of all the fatherless mentors he could find, he finds the communist!
I just have to tell you, he’s the most unlucky luckiest victim I have ever seen, but I just fall to my knees and pray that when Barack is elected, his bad luck streak of friends and associations finally ends. He wins that presidency and he’s the luck — I feel… feel… feel like the luckiest man… man… man… alive. It would be great, wouldn’t it? Keep your fingers crossed. I hope he doesn’t have any unlucky days at the White House.