Rod Serling: Imagine, if you will, a quiet suburban street in Political America. Here we see Joe Voter coming out of his pleasant domicile in pajamas and slippers to get his paper as he always does in his familiar, commonplace way. This is a very typical place called Political Situation Street; but, little does Joe know, he is about to enter the…Twilight Zone! [Cue that famous music.]
Yes, Joe is a typical middle-of-the-road voter. He became a Democrat in 2006 for a couple of
understandable reasons. The Iraq War was going terribly and there were no WMD’s there; the Republicans were spending like crazy and several scandals hit at once. Joe never could forget the awful sight of Larry Craig roller-skating down his street one morning with that infamous wide stance.
Now, as Joe picks up his paper, who does he see coming but Barack Obama!
Barry is a new neighbor, maybe a little strange, but Joe is starting to get used to him.
“Ah’ I see you’ve got your paper, there, Joe!”
“Yea, I notice there are scandals involving Democrats now…”
“Forget about that. I think I need to explain to you something I have consistently said.”
“Again?” Joe says, mildly surprised. ‘He’s been doing this a lot,’ Joe thinks to himself.
“Yea! You see, you may notice in there that the war is going a lot better. Well, I am for a timetable to leave but it depends on what the generals say…”
“But I thought you said…”
“And I’m going to step things up in Afghanistan…”
“But in 2006, I voted for your Party because you said…”
“AH! Just ignore this jogger-blogger here! He’s spouting nonsense!”
A jogger-blogger runs by yelling: “Yellow cake! You got your yellow cake!”
“What’s that?” Joe queries.
“They just found tons of radioactive yellow cake in Iraq.”
“They did? I don’t see it in my paper here”
“It’s on p.66, lower left, small print. Got to go! Bye!”
“Just ignore that guy, Joe!” Barry interjects, “He’s not ‘legitimate’.”
“Oh…” Joe grunts.
“By the way, I heard you want to drill for oil, is that right?” Barry says, smiling sweetly.
“Yeah, darn right I do! I heard there’s no way you’ll do that.” Joe says.
“As I have consistently said…uh, uh, uh, forget that. Would it make you happy if I said ‘I will drill for oil’?” says Barry eagerly.
“OK. I am now saying, ‘I will drill for oil’! Happy?” Barry waits expectantly.
“But will you really drill for oil?” asks Joe suspiciously.
“I am now saying, ‘I will drill for oil’! Wow! Who’s that coming so fast?”
It’s Nancy Pelosi on skates, looking like someone is chasing her. She manages to yell to Barack on the way by.
“Barack, I’m getting out of town fast. I blocked them all from voting for drilling so you wouldn’t have to be put on the spot voting against drilling. BYE!”
“She IS going fast,” says Joe. “By the way, Barry, I heard Big Mac is great on spending, cutting earmarks and such; I was looking at your record…”
“I think I’ve got to catch her,” Barack says, smiling nervously. “I’ve consistently said that, by the way,” he adds hastily. “NANCY! NANCY!” Barack yells, as he runs down the street.
Joe takes his paper and walks up his driveway. He stops at the doorway, his face showing the struggle within. He suddenly looks determined and yells into the kitchen, “Honey, let’s make plans to go to Political Town Hall today. I think I want to change my registration!”
Rod Serling: Yes, Joe Voter has seen some very strange things today, things you don’t usually see in the normal political world. He’s seen the horror of the most inexperienced novice in Presidential history changing his positions before his very eyes. Luckily for Joe, he knows a way out of the horror and back to normality, away from…The Twilight Zone! [Cue that famous music again!]