Domestic Violence Is Not always What it Seems

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Be Careful

Things are Not Always What They Seem

Everyone is worried over the big violent men of the NFL and their domestic violence. A man beating a woman is pathetic, the sort of behavior we expect from Muslims. However, the stories often get better for the telling and the actual events may not even resemble the media reports.

I am a big muscular man. I realize that no matter what the situation, if there is a confrontation, the initial reaction by law enforcement will be to assume I am the aggressor; consequently, I try to avoid all confrontations. I was a martial artist for years, so don’t think for a minute that I am a coward. I actually like the confrontations of martial arts, maybe a little too much.

I’ve had several friends who were with various police departments and they have all told me, in an an altercation, their first instinct would be to assume I was the aggressor. I believe them.

Once, years ago, at a convention of professionals, there was a costume party. It was kind of silly, 80% of us were men and I had no intention in participating. However, while riding in a crowded hotel elevator with revelers who were into their cups, I noticed a shapely black hooker. She looked out of place in the elevator. Oh, she was attractive enough, but she was big and strong looking, not exactly my type.

I figured one of the guys had just had his ashes hauled, and I was not going to pass judgement on anyone. Whatever floats your boat, is what I say about such diversions.

Looks Can be Deceiving

Be Careful

When the elevator reached the ground floor, I walked through the lobby toward the restaurant and suddenly, I was being assaulted by the black hooker. She had jumped on my back and wrapped her arms and legs around me and was not planning on giving up the advantage. She was strong, really strong and after I struggled for a minute or two, I noticed everyone was laughing. Eventually, they let me in on the joke. The perpetrator was a doctor some of you might know, so I won’t mention names. The incident got better for the telling, and to this day, I can’t believe how my friend managed to look so much like a woman. Now, the story might not have been so funny if he had been thrown off and received a vicious punch or kick for his trouble.

This silly anecdotal story is meant to illustrate how fast things can get out of control, and how incidents of domestic violence are not necessarily cut and dry.

Yes Indeed

Smile for the Lady

A professional horseman for over 40 years, Skook continues to work with horses. He is in an ongoing educational program, learning life's lessons from one of the world's greatest instructors, the horse. Skook has finished an historical novel that traces a mitochondrial line of DNA from 50,000 years ago to the present. The book Fifty-Thousand Years is awaiting me to finish a final proofread and it should be sent to the formatter in a matter of days. I am still working, so it is not easy to devote the time I need to finish the project. The cover is a beautiful wok of art. I would put it up here if I could figure out how to make it work.

12 Responses to “Domestic Violence Is Not always What it Seems”

  1. 2

    Skook

    author

    @Smorgasbord: Yes, you have hit upon the crux of the issue; although, the article was misleading for the sake of drama. Many of the psychologists speak of the woman as the one who often precipitates the confrontation, until a man is driven to the point of near insanity. Some women have a need to create the drama and they will push a man’s buttons until they receive the attention they crave. I know, a man is not supposed to hit a woman, but many men resist for days or weeks or months or years, until one day they lash out and become the villain or a criminal, but who pushed the issue until it was unavoidable? I am not talking about the man who whips children or beats up on women to feel powerful; I am speaking of the man who struggles under pressure to hold a family together and the woman who needs to be smacked to know that he loves her. Yes there are many women who don’t feel loved until they are hit, and what of these women, is there a special delineation for them or are they just listed as abused women.

    I raised four kids with a stern look and an incriminating finger, their mother used a wooden spoon, but it was my pointing finger and terrifying stare that put the fear of god into them, but dealing with an antagonizing woman is a different deal. Not that the courts care, the man is guilty, before he walks into court.

    I remember a case when I was a boy. A drunkard was wearing out his wife’s patience, and when he came home drunk and passed out on the bed, she sewed him into the sheets and beat him half to death with a ball bat. It was a creative and safe way to exact revenge, but her time in the pokey was less than half what a man would serve for the same offense, presumably because men can’t sew that fast or well.

    You might ask, did he learn his lesson, but you would never ask that of a woman victim.

  2. 3

    ThunderGod

    According to anecdotal reports from police; even though 85% of those arrested for domestic violence are men, at least 60% of the actual incidents are perpetrated or initiated by the woman. However, like in divorce or custody issues, our criminal justice system is geared with a Pro-Female, Anti-Male bias.

  3. 4

    Smorgasbord

    @Skook: #3
    What I meant was that there are women who are the aggressor. They are the ones who are abusing their husbands like a lot of men abuse their wives. You never hear about these women, unless an incident makes the news. Just like some women tend to stay with a wife beater, some men tend to stay with a husband beater.

    I remember a case when I was a boy.

    I remember a case like that many years ago. Was it on the national news?

  4. 7

    FMB42

    The OP’s silly story is probably one in 100 million in regard to domestic violence case studies. And, as such, this unverifiable story has virtually no bearing on what we’re seeing in the NFL these days. Far too many cases of verifiable NFL player violence, domestic and otherwise, seem to have been covered-up almost entirely, or at least to some extent, by the league. This suggests that the NFL player off-field violence that we’re hearing about is just the tip of the iceberg…

    This is not to mention that more than a few violent crime convicted NFL players have been allowed back into the league.

    Meanwhile, many minimum wage US citizen employees are put through more stringent background checks (and drug screens) than what some NFL players seem to be subjected to these days. Seriously, Big Time wrestling has more credibility than this flag happy (get another commercial in) form of “bread and circus” entertainment.

  5. 8

    Skook

    author

    @FMB42: The silly anecdotal story doesn’t qualify as domestic violence, it was meant to portray an illusion, especially for people without an imagination.

    Many people resent the money made by the athletes of the NFL and are quick to jump on the violence of men who are paid to exercise “controlled” violence. These men are predominately black, rich black men, and because they are easy to segregate, they are held in a state of contempt by many who envy their wealth and any opportunity to cast a bad light on thousands because of a few will be exploited. An illusion is created and the indignant pious types achieve their goal of destroying this opportunity for athletes and entertainment for millions.

    I do’t watch football, the NFL has not yet developed a market scheme to get the first dollar from me, but I don’t resent the exorbitant salaries. I know and the athletes know they have a limited opportunity to score this money and they will usually pay with arthritis the rest of their lives for this unique opportunity.

    The supposed cover-up is no more egregious than the cover-up of this administration, i.e. gun running to Mexico, Benghazi, the IRS scandal and many more examples. The cover-up has become acceptable under the Obama Administration. The fly in the pudding is whether the Democrat Media Machine turns on you or supports you. Right now, the propaganda bureau wants to destroy the NFL; whether it is to provide cover for the president’s bumbling in the Middle East is anybody’s guess, but to destroy the lives of so many black athletes because of a few seems cruel and heartless. When we consider the averages of wife beaters in different segments of the population, say members of congress and members of the ghetto we must look at the average and who benefits from cover-up by the Democrat Press.

  6. 10

    Roy_Beans

    I don’t think the NFL has any greater incursions of abuse than any profession. They may have more prima donas but not abusers. Construction? Police? Even certain office jobs have a high number of abusers that the NFL is below in percentage.
    Why is it up to the NFL to pass judgement anyway. You work at some job and a fellow employee is accused of abuse, but like Ray Rice is not convicted and sent to jail, but ordered by the court to attend training, will the CEO or even the manager or Boss inflict some kind of sanctions on the fellow employee? Why do we want more vigilante justice? If the Justice system is not working well enough, lets fix that. Of all the possible outcomes, why would we want corporations handing out Justice? Even education camps. This is headed in the wrong direction.

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