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Hey!
I’m the only candidate who has already thrown a lamp at a world leader!

I’m so excited to tell you about my new scheme plan that will make loads of money for you, just like I had when I made that investment in cattle futures.

“Bill’s manhood quit working!!!”

As soon as I can get my eyes to focus I’ll be announcing my queen ship.

I am gay-now you all know!

I’ll wait until you post the same picture in Nov 2016.

You could fit all of Washington in my mouth.

Surprise!!! it’s me the sniper missed.

I just heard about a thing called “the truth”!! Who knew?!?

OMG a fly just went up my nose!

@Ditto: “MY manhood quit working!”

Hey Putin!! Where is my banana???

“What do you mean another one-term Senator with a phony biography is challenging me for the nomination!? What the hell is going on?”

“But Monica said this was the way to Bill’s heart!”

Monica: “You’re too old to start now, Hillary. And at this stage, what difference would it make?”

“I know I’m loonier than Nancy Pelosi.”

@jainphx: DAMN