Tonto and His Sidekick in the New Movie

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Well, since there’s nothing new that’s been posted all day; and since it’s the weekend and this is a western-themed blog, here’s a break from politics: The Lone Ranger.

I saw a matinee of the new movie yesterday because I had nothing better to do; and in light of all the panning it’s received from professional critics, I went into it with low expectations. Because of that, I wasn’t disappointed.

To be sure, it’s a pretty bad movie with no clear direction as to how it wanted to define itself.

Since it’s produced by Disney, and since its traditional roots of yesteryear are grounded in appealing to kids, I found the violence in it distasteful (Cavendish eats the heart of the Lone Ranger’s brother- oops, is that a spoiler? Not shown, but implied, nevertheless). The final act is just comical, over-the-top comic-book action, with a bit of slapstick.

I feel like the movie had a hard time defining itself and what it wanted to be; and what audience it wanted to appeal toward.

The movie should more properly be called “Tanto”, since Johnny Depp’s portrayal of the Indian “sidekick” takes center stage and is the real star of the movie. Armie Hammer is duller than baking soda and plays the title character like a foppish dolt. Absolutely unheroic; and they make a mockery of the Lone Ranger’s idealism to uphold the law (in the original TV series, I remember that the reason the Lone Ranger uses silver bullets is because it was a reminder to him that every life is sacred, and to use his bullets sparingly).

The director, writers, and producers failed to do the Lone Ranger legend/tradition justice in their attempt to reimagine the legend and make it appealing to a newer generation. I think they sacrificed the purity of spirit and nobility of the original tv and radio series. Sure, much of the original is dated now; and can even be cringe-worthy when viewed today. But honor and respect for the rule of law should never go out of vogue. This movie does nothing to capture the spirit and essence of the Lone Ranger message to make it “sexy” for modern society. Instead, the movie mocks the Lone Ranger’s idealism as naiveté. Perhaps in the real world, it is indeed that. But that’s why we have escapist movies where heroes can be pure and uncorruptible.

The “original” actors of Clayton Moore and Jay Silverheels took their position as role models to children very seriously. So much so as to try and live by this creed:

I believe…

That to have a friend, a man must be one.

That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world.

That God put the firewood there, but that every man must gather and light it himself.

In being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for what is right.

That a man should make the most of what equipment he has.

That ‘this government of the people, by the people, and for the people’ shall live always.

That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.

That sooner or later…somewhere…somehow…we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken.

That all things change but truth, and that truth alone, lives on forever.

In my Creator, my country, my fellow man.

Fran Striker and George W. Trendle, the original creators, had specific traits in mind that the Lone Ranger should embody:

The Lone Ranger is never seen without his mask or a disguise.

With emphasis on logic, The Lone Ranger is never captured or held for any length of time by lawmen, avoiding his being unmasked.

The Lone Ranger always uses perfect grammar and precise speech completely devoid of slang and colloquial phrases, at all times.

When he has to use guns, The Lone Ranger never shoots to kill, but rather only to disarm his opponent as painlessly as possible.

Logically, too, The Lone Ranger never wins against hopeless odds; i.e., he is never seen escaping from a barrage of bullets merely by riding into the horizon.

Even though The Lone Ranger offers his aid to individuals or small groups, the ultimate objective of his story never fails to imply that their benefit is only a by-product of a greater achievement—the development of the west or our country. His adversaries are usually groups whose power is such that large areas are at stake.

Adversaries are never other than American to avoid criticism from minority groups. There were exceptions to this rule. He sometimes battled foreign agents, though their nation of origin was generally not named. One exception was helping the Mexican Juarez against French troops of Emperor Maximilian, as occurred in radio episodes such as “Supplies for Juarez” (18 September 1939), “Hunted by Legionnaires” (20 September 1939) and “Lafitte’s Reinforcements” (22 September 1939).

Names of unsympathetic characters are carefully chosen, never consisting of two names if it can be avoided, to avoid even further vicarious association—more often than not, a single nickname is selected.

The Lone Ranger never drinks or smokes and saloon scenes are usually interpreted as cafes, with waiters and food instead of bartenders and liquor.

Criminals are never shown in enviable positions of wealth or power, and they never appear as successful or glamorous.

If the creative forces behind this new Lone Ranger movie can’t pay homage and honor these ideas, why not simply call it something else instead of trying to market and piggyback off of Lone Ranger nostalgia while desecrating all that lies at its heart?

Perhaps Tim Tebow would have been better suited to play either of the two title characters.

All my whining complaints said, because I did go in with low expectations, I thought the movie was enjoyably silly. I liked the William Tell overture inclusion. The “Heigh-ho Silver” line at the end was funny. I haven’t seen the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise aside from bits and pieces; but apparently Johnny Depp’s Tanto is essentially Captain Jack Sparrow in Indian getup.

If the American western is to make a revival on the Hollywood big screen, this movie probably won’t be the catalyst for it.

We did a top 10 list of favorite western movies from FA readers, once.

I would love to hear what westerns today’s FA readers enjoy, if any.

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The subplots of “High Noon” were too realistic to be comfortable or shall we say too close to home. Marshal Kane and the Heavy both had affairs with the soiled dove of the town.

This is strictly off limits for that day and age. Only Marshal Dillon and Clint are allowed to have affairs with women of the night. Eh, eh, eh, do you feel my buddy Knarley’s elbow in your ribs, like I once did during an off color portrayal of a mythical hero. You don’t tarnish the image, it’s almost unpatriotic.

When the Marshal threw the star in the dirt, it was a traumatic event to a boy who carried his cap gun into every Western movie, but isn’t that the purpose of a movie or a screenplay, to cause a catharsis for the reader or the viewer.

Is it better for us to never question the myths and become disillusioned at some catastrophe, when we realize we have been lied too over the years or is it best to be given doses of cold harsh reality on a regular basis?

@Skook: Throwing his star in the dirt was a powerful statement, even more so for its time, but still powerful even in Dirty Harry’s time, when he tossed his shield at movie’s end.

@proof: Outstanding

@proof: I don’t think they are letting kids carry their cap guns into theaters these days, but surprisingly enough, I haven’t ever participated in mass killings. I wonder if our Department of Public Education would be interested in that little fact of history.

I had two boys who made pretend guns out of almost every thing imaginable and some things that weren’t imaginable, and neither of them has been a mass killer for the last thirty years. Obviously, they lack imagination.

@Skook: I never carried a cap gun into a theater. During the Davy Crockett craze, I had a plastic replica of Ol’ Betsy, and I think it was Kelloggs who sold me a plastic model of the Buntline Special Wyatt Earp carried. I never killed anybody, either. I might have killed for a Fanner 50, though. Heh.

@Skook: “Mass killer”? Neither my dad nor my brother or I or any of my four sons have ever shot anyone with our guns, even in self defense! That’s three generations behind the curve! Is there a “gun free” zone somewhere nearby where we can catch up??

@proof: I had a Fanner 50, and fanned it with caps until it disintegrated, a sad day in Mudville.

The cap guns in Saturday matinees were not all that safe. Several times, those crazy theater seats folded up on me while standing up trying to get a clear shot at a bad guy. It’s hard to get your cowboy boots up through the crevice when all the other boys are shootin the Hell out of the bad guys. It could be really frustrating.

@Skook: @Skook: “I had a Fanner 50…” You just HAD to rub it in, didn’t you!

@proof: I wouldn’t feel too bad, they weren’t all that durable, especially among the guys who were heavy cap users. Occasionally, I was able to score the black market high explosive blue caps from China or some lawless place. Man those caps were loud, but I never had a secure supply. I think they were always getting busted by Canadian Customs. Those were caps you could depend on! Loud, oh man were they loud, maybe that is when my hearing loss started.

@Skook: My next door neighbor had one. Also, one of those derringers in the belt buckle. Those were cool as well!

Speaking of cowboys, I saw an old friend and rodeo hand on TV tonight. It was Tom Oar and his wife Nancy. They are on the series Mountain Man on the History channel, and they are being filmed in Yaak Montana. When I last visited them, they had a one room cabin, but now they have a full size log house.

I don’t know how he got to be so old, I feel a little older but not that much older. He was a good trapper and rodeo hand, but I think he is making knives and bows with stone tipped arrows. It’s a funny life.

how about YANKIE DOODLE DANDY
JAMES CAGNEY
I LOVED IT

@Ditto:
The Alternative Western Screenplay

Toronto and Black Sidekick Detroit
Wandered the West fixin problems
Everyone’s business, they were into it
One day, Detroit said, there’s no jems
everyman’s champion, don take no wit

Doin all this work on the white shirt cuff
Toronto was perplexed, “Whoa loyal spade
This is our mission, we must hang tough”
Toronto, said, “Caress my hair, weave a braid,
We are young, I ain’t had near enough”

Detroit looked around, “We should settle down,
we could marry and consider moving into town
Get a job, sit on the porch drink whiskey sour
and hold each other every idle hour
Instead of acting like wild mountain flowers”

“An Indian and a Black, it will never work,
tight like shellac, we’ll soon drive them berserk”
Toronto moped. “But the times are a changin”
Detroit begged, “my wild savage, let’s live in sin”
Toronto wiped away a tear, “where do we begin?”

kristelle
thank you,and welcome,