Knowing How To Survive Winter

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America is much safer with Janet Napolitano in charge of Homeland Security. Taking advantage of the Nanny State Philosophy being imposed upon America, she can now advise us on how to survive the inevitable winter storms we are experiencing because of Climate Change with its myriad and unpredictable weather patterns.

Whether we are willing to admit it or not, America is experiencing winter, and with winter we must be willing to admit the possibility of winter storms, but don’t despair, Janet, like the perpetual den mother who is concerned with her children, has now advised us on how to deal with winter, through Twitter:

During Winter Storms and Extreme Cold

– Stay indoors during the storm.

– Walk carefully on snow, icy, walkways.

– Avoid overexterion when shoveling snow. Overexertion can bring on a hear attack–a major cause of death in the winter. If you must shovel snow, stretch before going outside.

– Keep dry. Change wet clothing frequently to prevent a loss of body heat. Wet clothing loses all of its insulating value and transmits heat rapidly.

– Watch for signs of frostbite. These include loss of feeling and white or pale appearance in extremities such as fingers, toes, ear lobes, and the tip of the nose. If symptoms are detected, get medical help immediately.

– Watch for signs of hypothermia. These include uncontrollable shivering, memory loss, disorientation, incoherence, slurred speech, drowsiness, and apparent exhaustion. If symptoms of hypothermia are detected, get the victim to a warm location, remove wet clothing, warm the center of the body first and give warm, non-alcoholic beverages if the victim is conscious. Get medical help as soon as possible.

It is amazing, in this day and age of government buffoonery and incompetence, we still have someone with the presence of mind to advise us on common sense. The brilliance of advising the public to stay indoors during winter storms reflects sheer genius in the pure simplicity of the message.

With someone to advise us to walk carefully over ice and snow, we will all be much safer.

What would we do if we didn’t have someone to tell us not to exert ourselves while shoveling snow.

Frostbite is another problem, Homeland Security now has taken on the responsibility of letting us be aware of the danger of frostbite and hypothermia; it is truly amazing, we persevered as a country for over two hundred years without a Department of Homeland Security.

I would like to offer a little more advice to those who must venture out to face winter: don’t crawl in the carcass of a freshly butchered moose to escape the fifty below.

If you must shovel snow from the peak of your cabin roof to get to the door with a snowshoe, make sure to have a roll of birch bark with the kindling to get a good fire going fast.

If your snowmobile slides slowly into a deep lake, make sure to pull off enough stuff to survive before it disappears.

Delivering a baby in the middle of a river when your sleigh has broke through the ice and your horses are lungeing in the traces is difficult, but not impossible.

In case you break through the ice of a creek that froze while in flood and find yourself twenty feet below ceiling of ice, make sure you have a means to escape before you and your imagination meet the devil.

It’s doubtful you will ever need this extra advice on surviving extreme winter conditions, but it is much more entertaining.

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How did I ever get to 56 years old without the government holding my hand and leading the way?

They, in Washington DC, really believe we are that friggin’ stupid, don’t they. Of course, the elections choices we have made as a country pretty much support their theory I guess. I cannot read about ANYTHING that comes out of our government anymore without getting pissed off….. it wasn’t supposed to be like this.

Maybe if the government was not providing us with common sense, they could enforce the laws already on the books instead of making new ones they will not be able to enforce!

I promise that I will never crawl into a moose carcass to stay warm. I will call for a cab instead! LOL

Considering what we’re stuck with in DC and many of the state capitols, I’d venture to guess that a large fraction of the American people are stupid enough to need Jan’s advice. ;-/

A quote from <em>The Hunt for Red October comes to mind: “This thing is gonna get outta control and we’ll be lucky to survive it.” I think we’re way past “gonna”.

I’m not worried about surviving winter, I’m worried about surviving Obama.

7:20AM Friday
January 25, 2013

The Obama administration is openly escalating its campaign against private gun ownership, and shaking up the top ranks of the military command structure — but is it also preparing to make war on the American population? According to a person identified as a former senior military official, the answer to that shocking question is yes.

World-renowned educator and human rights activist Jim Garrow says that the source, man regarded as “one of America’s foremost military heroes,” told him that President Obama is using a new litmus test for “determining who will stay and who must go” among top-ranked military leaders. That test is whether they will fire on US citizens or not. Garrow says that his source made the disclosure in order to “sound the alarm” over the administration’s plans.

While Garrow will not yet reveal the identity of the source, it’s important to note that Garrow himself is a man of considerable accomplishment. He is the founder of the Bethune Institute, which has established hundreds of schools throughout China. Three years ago, he was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize for his work though a group called Pink Pagoda, which combat “gendercide” in China — that is, the practice of rescuing baby girls who had been abandoned or targeted for infanticide because of the government’s one-child policy. He was personally involved in helping to save the lives of more than 50,000 Chinese girls. He joins Gary Franchi on WHDT World News to discuss this new “Litmus Test.”

@Jim S: But probably too stupid to follow it

@UpChuck.Liberals: Beginning to sound like Stalinist purges methinks – esp re the military.

@Skook: You have a few dead links at the end. You might need to lay the smackdown on Curt! =8^)

Loved the butchered moose story though – I was waiting for a good Han Solo / Tauntaun reference…

That’s too bad, I am at a hospital with a friend. It will be a long night and I only have my phone. The other stories are about survival on the razor’s edge. All I have is a phone, so there will be no quick fix by me. Thanks for the heads up.

Dead links Shook but I remember that moose story-did you ever write that book?

OMG!
How have I survived all these years?
No nanny state to watch my diet, my clothing, my housing, my walking on ice, my actions in cold weather,…
No backup light on my tricycle. No barriers to keep me from jaywalking.
My goodness. I got to play dodgeball. I got to keep score. I got ranked on my GPA.
I played kickball, tetherball, and ran outside.
Holy mackerel.
I should have been dead years ago.
Seriously, folks: this is absurd. This is why children have parents. Nanny states are not needed.

Thanks for the links, Skook – I hope your friend is OK

Big Sis might to want to tweet:

How to survive the Mexican drug cartels with American made guns

How to survive the Al Qaeda slipping into our borders

How to survive in the no go zones of Arizona’s National Forrests

Or maybe how to survive a winter hurricane in New Jersey…

Oh well maybe that’s FEMA job; good luck with that.

@AnnS: Good ones!

@Skookum:

Thanks

BUT WAIT;

there’s more………………