Flopping Aces T-Shirt Launch Contest – Polls Open

• Biden:”Damn gaurds put pepper spray on the toilet paper.” (25%, 24 Votes)
• Ok Barry, I’ll show you one more time how to bow. (20%, 19 Votes)
• Biden “Master, a storms brewing!”...Obama “Excelent, time for a new creation, We will call it Porkenstein!”...MUwhahhahahahahahah! (15%, 15 Votes)
• “I know that what we do can affect, uh, the greater economy of main street. But I also know, uh, that I can make Joe Biden dance like a monkey. Go ahead Joe, dance like a monkey for us. That’s it, dan (14%, 14 Votes)
• Biden: “I just stepped in a pile of crap! I hope I don’t have to change my pants.”...Obama: “HOPE and CHANGE are great buzz-words, Joe, but let’s call it STIMULUS instead of crap!” (13%, 13 Votes)
• Obama: Don’t worry about Joe! He’s practicing his Quasimodo impression for my speech at Notre Dame. Ha Ha Ha!...That wasn’t funny? This damn teleprompter playing tricks again. (12%, 12 Votes)
• Hey, Barack……when do I get to crank the organ and you get to play the monkey?? (12%, 12 Votes)
• “You put your right leg in…you take your right leg out…you put your right leg in…and you shake it all about.” (11%, 11 Votes)
• On the way boss! (11%, 11 Votes)
• Biden grunts: “Me Biden, Me Vice President Me gotta go potty. Obama hisses: “Easy there big fella… I already have to clean up after the new puppy. Someone get some diapers for this guy.” (7%, 7 Votes)
• That’s right, free health care for all and with that, I will start by saying that I cannot stress enough the importance of regular prostate exams. And when I said I was going to push for digitization (7%, 7 Votes)
• Obama: “That’s right, Mr. Tapper, you don’t mess around with (my puppet) Joe. Next question? Cokie Roberts, go ahead; it looks like you have to pee too!” (7%, 7 Votes)
• Biden: “Oh man, Barry, don’t take another question (especially since they’re staged anyway, Joe thinks to himself)…I’ve got GAS and I can’t hold it anymore!!!!!!!” (7%, 7 Votes)
• This is our new pet for the kids, he’s hypo-allergenic. We call him Bo. (6%, 6 Votes)
• Obama “My god, Biden why didn’t Bush have that spot cleaned its been here for over 10 years now.” (6%, 6 Votes)
• “I can tap dance just like Bush did when he was waiting for McCain to show up!” (4%, 4 Votes)
• Obama: “Joe, you took my idea” (3%, 3 Votes)
• Obama: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain, er… behind me. (3%, 3 Votes)
• joe: [giggle] “I just totally doo doo’ed in his office; the dog is in so much trouble” (2%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 97

• And now, while we are waiting for the teleprompter to be set up, my back up singer will dance for you. (24%, 16 Votes)
• “Check this out, I taught him this: Sit, Joe-Joe sit! I also taught him to roll over, fetch, and unfortunately, speak.” (16%, 11 Votes)
• “Confused about the whole concept of “coat tails”, Joe Biden manages to ride Obama’s left jacket sleeve to power.” (16%, 11 Votes)
• “Vice President Biden will be dispatched immediately to handle the Somali pirate problem. He has been highly trained in Kung Fu, Jujitsu, and Tae Quon Do. Demonstrate for us Joe.” (15%, 10 Votes)
• “Joe Biden seems to be holding up well since Obama decided to demonstrate what he means by ’sticking it to the man’ “ (15%, 10 Votes)
• Listen up underlings and pay attention to um…err..whatshisname…err..um.. Joe back there … he is demonstrating the correct way to ‘bow out’ of my office. (13%, 9 Votes)
• Malia….Sasha….come pull my finger and watch Uncle Joe. Let me be clear: pull my finger and he’ll perform a cool trick for ya. (10%, 7 Votes)
• “Mr. President, is that a teabag in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” (9%, 6 Votes)
• The weirdest posistioned conjoined twins to ever hold a high office. (9%, 6 Votes)
• “Wait a minute, Joe! You’re supposed to pull MY finger and a lot of hot air is supposed to come out of ME!” (9%, 6 Votes)
• wait!, Wait! I’m not done kissing your ass. (9%, 6 Votes)
• Obambi: “Uh, did you, uh, bring The Preparation H, uh, for ol’ Joe?” (7%, 5 Votes)
• “Pssssssst! Gaffer Joe, you’re not supposed to LOOK like you’re leaning LEFT!!” (7%, 5 Votes)
• Obama: “Hey! Hey! Hey! That prompter’s blocked. There, there, ok, that’s good. You be certain it doesn’t screw up again! I looked like an ass! (7%, 5 Votes)
• Chavez hitched a ride back to the White House in the commodious arse of the Vice President. (7%, 5 Votes)
• Always the cut-ups, Barry looks for someone to pull his finger while Joe gets ready to perform his VP Duty. (Doodie?) Clear the pool. (6%, 4 Votes)
• ‘Hey Obama - lie down here and I will give you the best teabag protest you had all day” (6%, 4 Votes)
• Biden: Here Bo, here! You STOP doing that on his leg right now! STOP IT! Bad dog! Bad dog! Heh, heh, heh, won’t you just look at that! (6%, 4 Votes)
• “no, joe is the one that is testing positive for cocaine” (3%, 2 Votes)
• Me and my shadow..We’re closer than pages that stick in a book..We’re closer than ripples that play in a brook..Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!..(Wow!)..For my shadow and me! (3%, 2 Votes)

Total Voters: 68

• They’re creepy and they’re kooky, Mysterious and spooky,They’re all together ooky, The O’Biden Family. (29%, 19 Votes)
• “Hey Barry, anything you need done that’s “above your paygrade”….?” (20%, 13 Votes)
• damn it Joe stop making fun of how i walk. (18%, 12 Votes)
• “Yes Dr. Obamastien, the creature has life. It will be a monster like no one imaged before, O great One. It will wreak havoc upon your scoffers and the world, Most High One. Now can we go back to the (17%, 11 Votes)
• obama says, “see i say jump and he says how high.” (15%, 10 Votes)
• “Well, the reporters may get a tingle up and down their leg when they see the size of that stimulus package, but if they had to take it everyday, they’d walk like this too.” (12%, 8 Votes)
• Michelle - Look at Joe’s Dr. Zaius imitation! Now you do Chewbacca! (11%, 7 Votes)
• “How’s your health Barry? Cause I can take over anytime….just let me know….” (11%, 7 Votes)
• “FINALLY, after all these years, two more steps, one dagger, and I’ll will be PRESIDENT!” (11%, 7 Votes)
• “Hey Barry, need any help girding your loins? Cause I’m really good at that….check mine out….” (9%, 6 Votes)
• Is that a teleprompter down there or are you just glad to see me? (9%, 6 Votes)
• Stay low, Joe. Stay low. (8%, 5 Votes)
• Biden: WOOOOOOOOOO I am the Nature Boy WOOOOOO I am stylin and profilin WOOOOOO, Obama: Joe come pull my finger (8%, 5 Votes)
• The ‘One’ and average white guy do the hokey pokey. (6%, 4 Votes)
• Obama: Mother May I says “Hop on one foot”. (6%, 4 Votes)
• ‘Are you ready to play Proctologist’. (5%, 3 Votes)
• Obama: “Maybe Joe wasn’t such a good choice for VP, he’s really getting under my skin lately!” (5%, 3 Votes)
• “Ruprecht, do you want the genital cuff?” (2%, 1 Votes)
• Hey Obambi — How about it. A puppy or a chimp? (2%, 1 Votes)
• “NO! You Cheeta. ME Tarzan!” “Ooh ooh ooh aah, aah aah haa (2%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 66

• ” hey Joe, do your monkey dance and let’s see if we can win one of them FLOPPING ACES t-shirts” (22%, 14 Votes)
• From the Totus: Please all assume Joe’s position over there. Bend over a little more, Joe. HERE COMES THE STIMULUS! (20%, 13 Votes)
• Obama: Quick! the automated vice president’s batteries are running down. (18%, 12 Votes)
• “hey Joe, go fetch my teleprompter and set it up right over there” (15%, 10 Votes)
• Hey, kids! What time is it?...It’s Howdy Doody Time!! (15%, 10 Votes)
• Obama: “Like most of you, Joe found out my stimulus package was bigger than he thought. Can I bum a smoke?” (12%, 8 Votes)
• We can dance if we want to..We can leave your friends behind..‘Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance..Well they’re no friends of mine..Safety dance (12%, 8 Votes)
• VP Joe Biden Demonstrates Icky Shuffle He Invented. (11%, 7 Votes)
• And then the old ventriloquist realized he was the real dummy… (11%, 7 Votes)
• Biden: “can you see me now?” (9%, 6 Votes)
• Oh, damn. Sorry, Mr. President…. so you’re NOT a King or a Muslim? But what do I do now? I can’t stand up! (6%, 4 Votes)
• Hey Boo Boo, let’s go find some picnic baskets! (6%, 4 Votes)
• “Look over there. Its Mike’s America from that flopping aces site,”..“I’ll grab him boss. To the re-education camp?” (6%, 4 Votes)
• Your boots again your Majesty??? Of course…I’ll have them clean in a jif… (5%, 3 Votes)
• “Hee. Hee. Hee. When Bob Byrd annointed me Super Secert Grand Fobar, they laughed. Now I’m only two steps and one knife from the greatest White Donkey victory ever!” (5%, 3 Votes)
• OBAMA: Biden, You’ve got the experience… How should I stop the rise of privacy? BIDEN: That’s easy! Use those Chains we can believe in! (3%, 2 Votes)
• “You will eat the veep poop before you talk about my presidency that way again.” (3%, 2 Votes)
• I can bow lower than you can HA HA HA (3%, 2 Votes)
• Pull my finger. (3%, 2 Votes)
• I’m gonna teabag him this time! (2%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 65

• I knew a man, Joe-jangles and he danced for me..In worn out shoes..Silver plugs, a ragged shirt and saggy cheeks..The old soft shoe..He jumped so high..Mr. Joe-jangles..Mr. Joe-jangles (21%, 13 Votes)
• I told you Jimmy, there’s rules you’ve gotta follow: keep him out of the light, keep him away from water. The most important rule....never, never feed him after midnight. (19%, 12 Votes)
• I told him at his age to NEVER trust a FART! (18%, 11 Votes)
• Mr. President, is it time to bow yet? (16%, 10 Votes)
• Obama abandons his slight-of-hand act for a moment and switches to ventriloquism using the old “pull my finger” gag and a nearby dummy. (16%, 10 Votes)
• See, I can prove I’m a leader. I turned around and this guy was following me. That makes me a leader, right? Doesn’t it? I’m a leader, right? Right? (15%, 9 Votes)
• Joe Biden muttering to himself: “I was a contender that shoulda been president….pfft! I might not be the first black candidate but I am articulate and clean…AND I can bow to the Saudi king even more (13%, 8 Votes)
• “If you think his “Mashed Potato” is good, just wait ’til you see him dance the “Macarena!” (11%, 7 Votes)
• You HAVE to plug “Plugs” in before he starts working! (11%, 7 Votes)
• Mr. Blow and Mr. Joe (10%, 6 Votes)
• Did someone step on a duck?? (8%, 5 Votes)
• “No, this is just a puppet. I had the real Joe on my other arm this morning, and you can still smell him on this finger!” (8%, 5 Votes)
• “I’m sure I saw Kinnock do this posture once…” (6%, 4 Votes)
• “Shoot Barry, that new dog don’t have nuthin on me. In fact, I’m really full of that stuff. How do you think I got where I am today? Watch this! I can shake it out of both pants legs and spell your na (6%, 4 Votes)
• Yes, I just messed with Joe… (6%, 4 Votes)
• OBAMA: Yes, I must admit that I got a little carried away with this “teabagging” thing. Now Joe tells me that we must add it to the list of torture that we should never perform here in the United Stat (3%, 2 Votes)
• Sorry, had a little gas. (2%, 1 Votes)

Total Voters: 62